Season 8 Episode Guide

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Episode 165: Darkman

Cold Open:
Tough Guys Don’t Dance reaches 100,000 views!
The top ten most viewed episodes

Glow-in-the-dark “thumb chucks”

Craig’s Background LP:
Bruce Springsteen “Darkness at the Edge of Town

Show Notes
• Elvis is beaten by a “weird Chilean”
• The second appearance by Jenny Agutter and second film score by Danny Elfman.
• The DVD was sent in by a viewer
• Craig regrets a life free of mob violence
• Matt cautions viewers to not watch the opening credits of Baby Face to avoid a spoiler of sorts
• Matt recounts a difficult story involving a creepy guest and a viewing of Battle Royale (the guest was not Craig)
• Matt announces updated show notes and hall of fame on

Seen It:
Baby Face
Twelfth Night
Midnight Cowboy
Battle Royale

Closing Credits:
Craig wields thumb chucks and feels cooler (then there is an accident)

Ernesto Stinger:
“Burn in hell! Ha ha ha!”

Episode 166: Indecent Proposal

Cold Open:
Oscars pre-talk; the best popular movie category that wasn’t; legacy Oscars for
Spike Lee, Glenn Close and Sam Elliot?

“A Bed of Roses” romance kit

Craig’s Background LP:
Monty Python “Matching Tie and Handkerchief”

Show Notes
• Matt wears a sweater vest
• “The Robert Redford Quandary” is pondered
• Second appearances of Oliver Platt, Billy Bob Thornton and director Adrian Lyne
• Matt does a Beer and Board Games cross-over reference with the “Go to Casino” song
• “Nothing says ‘My parents named me Oliver’ like a bow-tie”
• Craig is very excited by a Rip Taylor cameo
• Tona adjusts the camera frame and causes a physical disturbance
• Matt and Craig are both flabbergasted by hippos. Later on the hippos prompt an emotional outburst from Craig.
• We meet “Benchy” – a lovestruck bench
• The discussion portion of the show is out of focus
• Matt admits an ignorance of Craps
• Matt explains how a night with the wife actually cost Robert Redford’s character 0 dollars
• “Nothing sets a tone like a duck race”
• Craig lauds the sexiness of Dick Cheney

Seen It:
The Favorite
Bohemian Rhapsody
A Star is Born

Closing Credits:
Craig outlines a bizarre way to become a billionaire

Ernesto Stinger:
“Would you lend me your wife?”

Episode 167: Fellini Satyricon

Cold Open:
Goodfellas vs. The Godfather – Matt thinks one way, Craig another
Objective opinions

Construct-O Straws

Craig’s Background LP:
The Doors “Strange Days”

Show Notes
• Craig channels the arrogance of Federico Fellini
• Matt recounts an amusing story involving Jeff Goldblum, Fellini and mescaline
• Matt’s lips and words briefly go out of sync in imitation of Italian film sound techniques
• Matt dreams of riding on a palanquin. Craig desires a sedan chair.
• Matt finds another obscure actor who looks like F. Murray Abraham (See The 300 Spartans in the previous season)
• Craig and Matt are faked out by false endings twice
• Matt and Craig do a freeze-frame ending
• Craig doesn’t like to go to parties where praise is demanded
• The second appearance of cinematographer Giuseppe Rotuno
• Matt plans to throw a birthday Satyricon
• Matt claims that Spike Lee has has written history in lightning with BlacKKKlansman (something that was falsely attributed to DW Griffith by President Woodrow Wilson for Birth of a Nation)
• Matt announces that Craig will choose the next movie to celebrate Matt’s birthday. He wants something new — either from 2016 or 2017

Seen It:
Black Panther
Green Book

Closing Credits:
Matt does a quickly abandoned rendition of the 1990s hit “The Boy is Mine” by Brandy

Ernesto Stinger:

Episode 168: The Jungle Book (2016)

Cold Open:
Why comedy?
The purposes of comedy in a dark and difficult world

Spinning light gizmo

Craig’s Background LP:
The Monkees s/t

Show Notes
• Craig chose this as Matt’s movie birthday gift (presumably because it co-stars a large black cat)
• Craig persists in using the phrase “big leather couch”
• “Are you my Pop-pop?” makes a return appearance
• Craig doesn’t like the early death of Giancarlo Esposito’s character because he didn’t have time for a Breaking Bad or Do the Right Thing reference.
• Matt dislikes the songs. This seems to irritate Craig.
• The audio in the second half of the episode is bad due to equipment failure
• Matt recounts an incident where a telemarketer gave him “the white voice”

Seen It:
Sorry to Bother You
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
Dazed and Confused

Closing Credits:
More grousing about David Lynch

Ernesto Stinger:

Episode 169: The Ox-Bow Incident

Cold Open:
The sad tale of “Sweater” and “Soxy”
Matt reveals his sweater storage methods

Cowgirl Lunchbox

Craig’s Background LP:
The Clash “Give ‘Em Enough Rope”

Show Notes
• The second appearance of director William Wellman and actress Margaret Hamilton
• Cecil disrupts the show by bumbling around
• Matt has no idea who Dana Andrews is. Craig and Matt have no concept of square footage.
• Craig mistakes a husband for a wife
• It is revealed where babies came from in the 19th century and the most convenient place on the human body to be shot (the shoulder)
• The audio in most of the second half is bad (again) due to equipment failure
• Matt hates the modern film and tv tendency to show people vomiting on screen
• “Western crap-beating-out-ofs”

Seen It:
(Theme: Westerns)
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
High Noon
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Closing Credits:
Bombastic conductor “Mustache” makes a return appearance

Ernesto Stinger:
“Why don’t you let him alone?”

Episode 170: Airport ‘77

Cold Open:
Forrest Gump and those who are named Forrest
Midnight Cowboy and those who are named Ratso

Sling Wing glider toy

Craig’s Background LP:
Frank Sinatra “Come Fly With Me”

Show Notes
• Craig entertains the possibility of a falcon being loose in the basement
• The second appearances of Joseph Cotten, Olivia De Havilland, Darren McGavin and M. Emmet Walsh. Third appearance of Lee Grant. Sixth appearance of Christopher Lee.
• Craig’s Jimmy Stewart sounds like Don Knotts, and his Don Knotts sounds like Don Knotts being dangled off a bridge
• Craig reveals which scene of Airport ’77 he always came across on television as a child
• Matt and Craig fondly look back at childhood fascination with the Bermuda Triangle.
• Matt brings back Sorry to Bother You to Seen It for further discussion
• Matt is not sure if he’s seen Shadow of a Doubt
• Matt outlines the plot similarities between Paul Schrader’s First Reformed and Paul Schrader’s Taxi Driver
• Matt announces that the faulty sound recorder responsible for the bad sound in the past few episodes has been replaced

Seen It:
Sorry To Bother You (again)
Shadow of a Doubt
First Reformed
Won’t You Be My Neighbor

Closing Credits:
Jacques Cousteau and a friendly whale

Ernesto Stinger:
“Flight 2-3-Sierra is about to disappear into the Bermuda Triangle”

Episode 171: The Long, Long Trailer

Cold Open:
Matt addresses concerns from a viewer, regarding jokes about “serious films”
The core concepts of Welcome To The Basement

Barrel of Monkeys

Craig’s Background LP:
They Might Be Giants “Factory Showroom”

Show Notes
• Matt introduces the movie with the lyrics of They Might Be Giants. He later references another of their songs, “We Want a Rock”
• Craig speculates that the film might be nothing more than a trailer for a non-existent film
• Craig admits ignorance to the rules for Barrel of Monkeys
• Keenan Wynn’s third appearance
• Stu makes an appearance many, many times
• Craig and Matt are startled by Desi Arnaz’ nude shadow
• Matt makes a “Cha-Cha Slide” reference that he barely understands
• “Ragout of beef!”
• Craig defends Cold War-era salads
• Craig dubs himself “The Geological Detective of Movies”
• Matt and Craig have anxiety attacks during the third act climax
• The movie watching was interrupted by a real-life tornado siren
• Craig prefers devil’s food cake over angel food cake to the point of blasphemy
• Craig recalls an ex-roommate who as a child had the honor of stepping foot into the real life Long, Long Trailer while it was on a promotional tour
• Craig claims to have attended high school with a cat

Seen It:
(Theme: Comedy)
Airplane II: The Sequel
Back To School
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Closing Credits:
Craig tells another story about his middle-aged gay college roommate

Ernesto Stinger:
“Ragout of beef!”

Episode 172: 42nd Street

Cold Open:
On riffing and watching riffing
Matt fails the Turing Test

Mixtape game

Craig’s Background LP:
Billy Joel “52nd Street”

Show Notes
• Craig’s background LP was the second CD he purchased as a youth
• Matt announces the theme for May: musicals
• Warner “Shark Island” Baxter, George “Little Caesar” Stone and Ginger “Swing Time” Rogers make their second appearance, while Dick Powell- director of “The Conqueror” appears as an actor
• Craig tells a lie about author Bradford Ropes
• We learn the value of Matt’s reputation: 14 dollars
• “Faster…Faster!” makes an appearance in the movie and on the couch
• A very affectionate Cecil the cat shows up on the couch
• Matt describes the Buzby Berkley choreography as “looking like a bowl full of snacks”
• A discussion of streets and avenues naturally brings up the subject of Speed Levitch
• Craig laments that Raffi has supplanted the Pixies in his life
• Matt marvels at the bygone concept of a hotel doctor

Seen It:
(Theme: Musicals)
Mary Poppins Returns
Jesus Christ Superstar Live
Sweeney Todd
Gold Diggers of 1933

Closing Credits:
Cecil the affectionate cat becomes a distraction

Ernesto Stinger:
“Jones and Barry are doing a show!”

Episode 173: The Apple

Cold Open:
A bone to pick with Quentin Tarantino
Matt “Winston Wolf”’s Pulp Fiction

Reefer Madness DVD

Craig’s Background LP:
Circle Jerks “Golden Shower of Hits”

Show Notes
• Matt fakes Craig out on the movie reveal with an elaborate ruse involving a blank DVD case and a DVD left lying on a chair for six months
• The DVD for The Apple was provided by a viewer
• “Neck apple”
• A meow from Sadie causes Craig to have heart palpitations
• The terrible singing in the film sends Craig into a sneezing fit
• A sudden plot development gives Craig a brief attack of hysterics
• A maudlin ballad precipitates crying jags from Matt and Craig
• It turns out that the main character’s name (Bibi) is also one of Cecil the cat’s nicknames
• Matt continually defends the evil Mr. Boogalow and justifies his wicked deeds
• “Crackly-Jackly!”
• Craig pronounces Mr. Boogalow’s name in various ways (as do most of the characters in the movie)
• Matt lip-synchs the song “Child of Love”
• Matt identifies a dark truth about humanity, prompted by “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”
• Matt does a spoken word rendition of “Shipoopi” from The Music Man
• Matt falls in love with the wallpapers of Cherbourg

Seen It:
(Theme: Musicals Part 2)
The Sound of Music
The Music Man
Victor Victoria
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg

Closing Credits:
Destiny and pills

Ernesto Stinger:

Episode 174: The Phantom Tollbooth

Cold Open:
Matt explains the concept of the cold open
Undeserved Oscars

Wooden toy car

Craig’s Background LP:
Kraftwerk “Autobahn”

Show Notes
• Craig scorns the term “Amuse Bouche”
• The first film of Cartoon June
• The second appearance (the voice of) of Hans Conried on the show
• Craig criticizes Matt’s car horn sound effects
• Matt makes several references to Stephen King’s Dark Tower series
• Craig and Matt are bored by the movie and say so many times
• Matt adopts the rapper name “Rhymin’ Reason”
• Bombastic conductor “Mustache” makes a return appearance
• Sadie the cat attempts to participate in the discussion
• Matt claims that the best way to watch The Phantom Tollbooth is with the sound off and listening to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon
• “The cat is licking the crackers”
• Matt hates A Quiet Place and doesn’t know why
• Matt claims to be a “peer” of Bo Burnham
• Craig exercises his “quads”
• Matt charges Craig with the task of choosing the next cartoon movie

Seen It:
A Quiet Place
Eighth Grade
The Death of Stalin

Closing Credits:
Perfect Butch Patrick impersonations

Ernesto Stinger:
“Do you remember any mathematics?”

Episode 175: The Emperor’s New Groove

Cold Open:
“The Long Black Veil” the song
The Long Black Veil: the vampire movie

Pencil prank

Craig’s Background LP:
Lou Reed “Transformer”

Show Notes
• Craig briefly suspects Matt of having an affair with his wife
• Craig chose this movie to close out Cartoon June
• John Goodman’s second appearance on the show
• Matt winces at Craig’s movie choice and has generally low expectations
• Craig presents (and later debunks) an internet rumor concerning an unlikely David Mamet quote
• Matt hopelessly botches the pencil prank
• Craig begrudgingly employs the anglo pronunciation of the word “llama”
• Matt and Craig like the movie, hate the title
• Dead Poet’s Society is discussed for a second time on the show
• Matt re-enacts a scene from CBGB between Hilly Krystal and The Ramones. Craig recalls his one visit to the fabled punk landmark.
• Matt teases the coming of Sci-fi July

Seen It:
Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse
Dead Poet’s Society
Throw Momma From the Train

Closing Credits:
Lies are told about Eartha Kitt’s stunt work

Ernesto Stinger:
“I’m going to KILL YOU!”

Episode 176: Destination Moon

Cold Open:
Matt chats with Craig’s son Lorenzo
Basement protocols and Totoro

Night Sky 3D model

Craig’s Background LP:
They Might Be Giants “Apollo 18”

Show Notes
• The first movie of Sci-fi July, with appropriate theme music and title graphics
• Lorenzo anticipates the subject matter of the film by wearing a NASA t-shirt
• Cecil the cat lurks in the background during the introduction
• Matt consults the Variety book of Sci-fi reviews for a blurb about the film
• Craig disparages Matt’s gift and claims to “love horse mouths”
• The second appearance of Warner Anderson on the show (the first was The Caine Mutiny)
• Craig spots an actor who bears a striking resemblance to Matt Damon doing Citizen Kane cosplay.
• “Shootey-up spot”
• Craig simulates weightlessness (briefly) on the couch
• Matt and Craig imagine a world where Mickey Mantle was a pitcher
• “The pecker in question…”
• Craig’s nightmare is floating un-tethered in outer space
• Craig has always wanted to be Arthur Dent (clearly forgetting that Dent spent 29 seconds floating un-tethered in outer space)
• Matt ponders the stupid-yet-useful adjective “drinkable” and uses it to describe The Right Stuff
• Matt dubs character actor Shea Wigham “the Fred Ward of today”
• Matt admits that when he was young he thought Close Encounters was part three of a trilogy. Craig cops to being frightened of a Close Encounters lunchbox.

Seen It:
(Theme: Space Travel)
The Right Stuff
First Man
Apollo 13
Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Closing Credits:
Beer, babes and baseball

Ernesto Stinger:
(Woody Woodpecker laugh)

Episode 177: Lifeforce

Cold Open:
Craig chats with his son, Lorenzo
The tale of the moon

“Einstein” figurine (see note)

Craig’s Background LP:
David Bowie “Space Oddity”

Show Notes
• Lorenzo begins the show by greeting the microphone
• The second film of Sci-fi July
• Craig gets very excited about impending nudity
• The second appearances of Frank Finlay and the writing of Dan O’Bannon
• Matt opts to watch the theatrical release of the film rather than the extended director’s cut
• Matt mis-identifies Craig’s gift as a Funko (it is not) and as Albert Einstein (it is Mark Twain)
• Craig quotes the movie I.Q.
• The appearance of alien bats prompts a visit from Ray Milland and his bat (from The Lost Weekend)
• Bombastic orchestra conductor Mustache makes a brief and subtle appearance
• A space mummy is called a “dusty daddy”
• Matt mercilessly derides Steve Railsback’s acting abilities and camera presence
• The mention of a sedative prompts an off-camera shout of “SEDAGIVE!” from Matt
• “Her Body is Down There in London” (sung to the tune of “My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean”)
• A tired Matt likens the film to a literal energy vampire. Craig posits that the longer director’s cut probably makes more sense and is less boring.
• Craig is put off by the fact that his two year old son appears in the episode with the most nudity
• “Talkin’ rainbow butt!” – a Matt and Tona catch phrase inspired by the movie Annihilation
• “Tom Cruisie”
• Craig informs Matt that his son who refused to give a Thumb Kiss on the last episode now does it all the time

Seen It:
(Theme: Sci-fi)
War of the Worlds (1953)

Closing Credits:
Lorenzo clowns around with a hat and requests a movie

Ernesto Stinger:
(Lorenzo) “Hullo!”

Episode 178: Menace II Society

Cold Open:
First cable memories
Matt is disappointed by his own bad memory

Novelty squirt camera

Craig’s Background LP:
Nas “Illmatic”

Show Notes
• Matt evaluates Craig’s character
• The Hughes Brothers get dressed down for some of their past movies, including the “unforgivable” From Hell. Craig accuses Allen Hughes of killing Tupac.
• The guys watch the director’s cut of the film (unrated and 32 seconds longer)
• Matt demonstrates “funk dancing”
• The second appearance of Arnold “Putney Swope” Johnson and hall-of-famer Bill “Car Wash” Duke
• Matt quotes The Notorious BIG’s “Ten Crack Commandments” during a crack-dealing scene. Craig half-heartedly quotes Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice” during a juice scene. Also The Smiths.
• “Chase Bass”
• Matt expresses a preference for small-batch microbrew malt liquor
• Matt claims that Menace II Society is a better movie than Boyz N The Hood
• Matt starts to discuss the movie Less Than Zero, and Craig informs him that he’s actually talking about Bright Lights, Big City
• Matt describes having a large CD collection as “Living the life of Downey”

Seen It:
Less Than Zero
Chimes at Midnight
The Drunken Master
The Dark Tower

Closing Credits:
A cinematic critique of the convenience store security tape

Ernesto Stinger:
“Yo wassup now patnah!”

Episode 179: Treasure Island

Cold Open:
Matt’s movie idea and his desire to troll the world
“The Superman”

Model pirate ship and eyepatch

Craig’s Background LP:
Gang of Four “Solid Gold”

Show Notes
• Matt evaluates Craig’s intelligence
• Nigel Bruce’s second appearance on the show
• Craig grossly inflates the value of a 1934 dollar while thinking he’s still in the cold open
• Matt gives Craig two gifts
• Matt continually pelts the minstrel pirate with imaginary refuse
• Craig speaks “plane”
• “You’re smart as paint, vagina dick”
• Craig realizes that Jackie Cooper bears a striking resemblance to comedian Amy Schumer
• “Bushy head of man!”
• Craig expresses a love of “corpse art”
• Craig’s faith in God is restored by a pelican
• The word “seminal” prompts a rendition of Warren Zevon’s “Seminole Bingo” from Matt
• Matt tells a story regarding a community theater production of Glengarry Glen Ross that he and Craig were involved in and a Mamet typo
• Matt is 1/10th of a percent Jewish (according to

Seen It:
(Theme: “Seen It, Own It”)
Barton Fink
The Royal Tenenbaums
Glengarry Glen Ross

Closing Credits:
Craig dispenses some pirate lore

Ernesto Stinger:
“Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! WAAAK!”

Episode 180: How to Get Ahead in Advertising

Cold Open:
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Amorphous storytelling, cinematic time travel, Bruce Lee and Brad Pitt’s chest

Back scratcher

Craig’s Background LP:
The Smiths “Strangeways Here We Come”

Show Notes
• Craig objects to an ellipse
• Craig can’t speak French. Matt doesn’t know the metric system.
• The second appearance of Richard E. Grant and Bruce Robinson on the show
• A young Sean “Ned Stark” Bean makes an unexpected appearance
• Craig mixes up the words “buttock” and “anus”
• A dinner scene causes a recollection of “Ragout of beef!” from The Long, Long Trailer
• Matt’s three favorite punk rock bands: “Nasty Spasms”, “Blind Fat Girls with Boils” and “Cynical Old Anus” (geriatric punk)
• Matt references “sedagive” (from Young Frankenstein) twice
• Matt claims that a mustache makes Richard E. Grant look less like “Dracula Von Frankenstein”
• Craig promises to wear his back scratcher as a dapper jacket accessory to all of his “proper functions”
• Craig and Matt disagree about the zipper scene from There’s Something About Mary
• Craig lists his three worst non-actor actors (Brett Favre, Truman Capote and Dee Dee Ramone)
• Craig makes a bold statement about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Seen It:
(Theme: Comedy)
There’s Something About Mary
Crazy Rich Asians
Elvis and Nixon
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Closing Credits:
Matt cracks himself up with some James Bond-related stupidity

Ernesto Stinger:
“I’ve got a boil!”

Episode 181: Suddenly, Last Summer

Cold Open:
“He’s Popeye the sailor man…” variations
Viral children’s songs and games

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg vinyl soundtrack

Craig’s Background LP:
XTC “Skylarking”

Show Notes
• Craig has a tough time with the name “Violet Venable” and the song title “Rockin’ Pneumonia and Boogie-woogie Flu”. Matt has a tough time with the name “Dr. Cukrowicz”.
• Matt and Craig enjoy some delicious coffee
• The words “suddenly” “last” and “summer” appear with alarming frequency in the movie and on the couch
• According to Matt, the line “Forgive me if I sound quite mad” is in every Tennessee Williams play
• Matt has a strange theory about a certain style of jacket
• Matt gets mad at a jump cut. Craig gets mad at a description of percussion
• Matt once again brings up “sedagive” from Young Frankenstein. Craig once again fails to speak French.
• Matt turns into a rocking chair
• Matt attempts a Tennessee Williams impersonation
• The Motels song “Suddenly Last Summer” is discussed
• Matt has fond memories of the summer when the film Major League shot its baseball scenes in Milwaukee’s County Stadium. Craig has fond memories of the destruction of Milwaukee’s County Stadium.
• Craig regularly uses the words “Pizza Dude”
• The episode ends suddenly, in tribute to the film

Seen It:
(Theme: 80s Cable Roundup)
Major League
Honky Tonk Freeway
Lethal Weapon
The ‘Burbs

Closing Credits:
Craig misreads his notes

Ernesto Stinger:
“I am disturbed!”

Episode 182: The Friends of Eddie Coyle

Cold Open:
It Chapter 2
Skarsgard vs. Sarsgaard

Grow a Mobster toy

Craig’s Background LP:
Boston “Don’t Look Back”

Show Notes
• Matt evaluates Craig’s social skills
• The second appearance of Richard Jordan on the show (after Logan’s Run)
• Matt demonstrates a lack of knowledge about Boston’s main highway
• Matt briefly loses his glasses
• Many comments are made about the size and shape of Peter Boyle’s head
• Matt gives a shout-out to an old Blame Society film from years ago
• Matt mentions the There’s Something About Mary dispute from two episodes ago
• Matt coins the phrase “ghoulishly handsome” when describing a young Christopher Walken
• Matt gets mad at Craig for not reading all of Stephen King’s Different Seasons

Seen It:
(Theme: Seen It, Read It – Stephen King)
The Dead Zone
Apt Pupil
Salem’s Lot

Closing Credits:
Boyle, Coyle, Doyle confusion

Ernesto Stinger:
“April Fool, motherf–kers”

Episode 183: Tales From the Darkside

Cold Open:
Matt’s first kiss
Craig’s first kiss (with documentation)

Metal spider

Craig’s Background LP:
The Specials “Ghost Town”

Show Notes
• The first horror movie of October (with appropriate theme music and graphics)
• To celebrate Halloween early, Matt wears a Misfits “skull” t-shirt
• The second appearances of Robert Kline, Christian Slater and Steve Buscemi on the show
• The presence of David Johansen inspires a rendition of “Hot, Hot, Hot” from Craig
• A cat attack on screen inspires Sadie the real life cat to become a “copycat” and attack Matt in the same way
• “Vengeful Pussy”
• Craig decides that the lesson of the film is “never tell your wives anything” and concludes the episode by shouting “Merry Christmas!”
• Sadie makes another, less violent, appearance at the desk after the movie
• Craig was introduced to his future wife by a William Hickey acting student (making him two degrees of separation away from the late actor)
• Craig sings the David Bowie song “Cat People” to the tune of Bowie’s “Golden Years”, but says he’s singing it to the tune of “Fashion”

Seen It:
(Theme: Horror)
Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil
Cat People (1982)
The Haunting

Closing Credits:
Matt tells a children’s story about gargoyles

Ernesto Stinger:
“I’m going to start a little fire under your chair and roast your nuts.”

Episode 184: Night of the Creeps

Cold Open:
The child’s capacity to eat candy
The ravages of sugar on middle-aged men

A pile of misshapen bones

Craig’s Background LP:
Rob Zombie “Hellbilly Deluxe”

Show Notes
• The second horror movie for October. Matt and Craig are dressed in costume: Matt as the Hippy Leader from The Apple (“the bearded doofus”) and Craig as Huxley from The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (for the first time using the “previous year” loophole).
• It only takes a pair of glasses to transform Hippy Leader into Charles Darwin
• The third appearance of character actor Dick Miller on the show
• Matt speaks up for zombie cats
• Craig bemoans the loss of the angry, emphatic hang-up in the cell phone era
• Matt ditches most of his costume by mid-episode
• Craig removes one of his oversized eyebrows and then puts it back on. Neither option is good
• Craig and Matt are both over the moon about The Gate

Seen It:
(Theme: Creeps)
The Gate
The Mummy (2017)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
It (1990)

Closing Credits:
Detective Cameron describes the plot for his first novel

Ernesto Stinger:
“It’s Miller time!” (gunshot)

Episode 185: Dragonheart

Cold Open:
The most convenient place to be shot on the body (not the shoulder)
Industrious John Rambo vs. Lazy John Wick

Hardcover illustrated The Hobbit novel

Craig’s Background LP:
Pink Floyd “Wish You Were Here”

Show Notes
• Craig doesn’t like the word “insouciant” and pronounces it ridiculously
• The second appearances of Dina Meyer and Sean Connery
• Craig says “building a castle” in a weird way
• Matt observes an overlap between the script of Dragonheart and “gentleman’s porn”
• Craig is confused by the word “what”
• Craig is amused by an arrow. Matt is amused by a rock.
• Matt threatens to turn off the movie if the dragon’s anachronisms cross a line
• “Stony, everyone’s favorite pillar” makes his debut appearance
• Tona is brought to tears by the hero’s death
• Craig talks about the deaths of mythical monsters and quickly runs out of ideas
• Matt talks about his least favorite battle tropes
• Craig sings a little Sondheim
• “The Good, The Bad and The Scaly”
• Matt pays due respect to Ice-T

Seen It:
(Theme: PO Box)
Streets of Fire
Be Kind, Rewind
Remains of the Day

Closing Credits:
Pete Postlethwaite: living character, dead actor

Ernesto Stinger:

Episode 186: Beach Party

Cold Open:
Children of the Corn nightmare
The real life nightmare of loud plumbing

Fatz Flyer frisbee

Craig’s Background LP:
The Cure “Standing on a Beach”

Show Notes
• Matt imagines a Wizard of Oz sequel that takes place at the beach
• Matt images a Showbiz Pizza cinematic universe and a role for Jonah Hill
• Craig cracks himself up with his own face
• Craig notices what appears to be a laptop in one of the beach scenes
• Matt and Craig are dismayed by the idea of a poetry recitation
• Craig has a very strange reaction to a very strange hat
• Craig recalls his real life surfing adventure
• Matt initially thinks that “camp directors” means people who run summer camps
• There is a very odd moment involving the word “surf”
• Craig was genuinely terrified by Free Solo
• Matt analyzes the psyche of the free solo climber
• Craig flirts with “bad mojo” by giving a left-handed thumb kiss
• Craig closes the show with some air surf guitar

Seen It:
They Shoot Horses Don’t They?
Good Time
Los Olvidados
Free Solo

Closing Credits:
Deadhead’s eccentric accent

Ernesto Stinger:
“If he had a twin he’d make a good cough drop! Hee hee hee!”

Episode 187: A Christmas Carol

Cold Open:
Tom Petty and Ukuleles
Craig’s brother and lawn flamingoes


Craig’s Background LP:
Nat King Cole “The Christmas Song”

Show Notes
• Craig gives the camera a knowing look when Matt mentions Scrooge
• Craig briefly forgets how to pronounce the word “Scrooge”
• Craig gives Matt a choice of three Christmas Carols to choose from. He immediately rejects the Jim Carrey version and opts for the George C. Scott TV movie.
• Matt gets a lot of mileage out of “undigested potato”
• Matt quotes the Talking Heads song “Born Under Punches”

Seen It:
(Theme: In the Theater)
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Naked Lunch
J. Edgar

Closing Credits:
More Naked Lunch discussion

Ernesto Stinger:
“Humbug! Bah!”

Episode 188: DW Griffith Shorts

Cold Open:
Dirty jokes and moms
“The Pubics Cube”

Pixar short films DVD

Craig’s Background LP:
The Who “Who’s Next”

Show Notes
• The final episode (“Megasode”) of Season 8, featuring additional discussion and a 2019 year-in-review montage
• It is unanimously agreed that the worst movie of the year is The Phantom Tollbooth
• Matt’s favorite: Menace II Society. Craig’s favorite: The Emperor’s New Groove
• Reflections on the acting abilities of Robert Redford
• Matt attempts to “punch up” A Christmas Carol
• Matt once again brings up “undigested potato”
• The guys try to punch up Oliver Twist: less anti-semitism, more werewolves
• Craig talks about Robert Louis Stevenson, proto-screenwriter
• Craig improves the old saw “so bad, it’s good” by calling it “so bad, it ceases to be bad”
• The guys watch two DW Griffith short films: A Corner in Wheat and The Musketeers of Pig Alley
• Craig dubs A Corner in Wheat “Pit: The Movie” (referring to the old Parker Brothers commodities trading game)
• Matt makes an “extremely local” reference to Stella’s spicy cheese bread
• Matt (again) quotes the Talking Heads song “Born Under Punches”
• Matt adjusts 4 million 1909 dollars for inflation to today’s dollars ($112,889,341.44)
• Matt encourages people to watch more silent films
• Matt shares a list of weird DW Griffith film titles
• The 2019 Hall of Fame inductees: Hans Conreid, Giuseppe Rotunno, Dan O’Bannon, Arnold Johnson, Richard E. Grant, Dick Miller
• The 2019 Non-human hall of fame inductee: Kissing
• Matt recalls the HBO commercial jingle for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and a Hawaiian community theatre production of the DRS musical
• The final seen it of the year tradition, where the flaws of a universally beloved film are discussed, continues with The Wizard of Oz

Seen It:
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Paris, Texas
The Wizard of Oz

Closing Credits:
DW Griffith makes an announcement to his cast

Ernesto Stinger:
(Dramatic violins)