Unboxing Episode Guide

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(Notes compiled by Dawid Mamczur. Twitter: @Dawidsu)

Unboxing Season 1 (concurrent with Welcome to the Basement Season 5)

Unboxing #1

Cold Open:
Craig’s Russian director story (West Side Story)
“Welcome to the Basement: Watching Movements since 2012”

The Zatoichi Report:
#02 Tale of Zatoichi Continues
#03 New Tale of Zatoichi
They are quite good, maybe even better than the original

Deleted Scenes: Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill
More bad Italian accents
Craig wishes his father were a freak like Matt

Matt’s Poem:
“Spider’s Web Castle” inspired by Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood

Craig erroneously convinced himself he had AIDS

Mortdecai: “An amusing trifle”

Unboxing #2

Cold Open:
Craig ponders the most logical situation of locking eyes with Mel Gibson (as in The Most Dangerous Game)

Job interview advice:
“Wear a tie on some part of your body”

“Later in the shoe”

The Zatoichi Report:
Cinema immersion tank, five consecutive movies:
#04 Zatoichi The Fugitive
#05 Zatoichi on the Road
#06 Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold
#07 Zatoichi’s Flashing Sword
#08 Fight, Zatoichi, Fight
Matt’s favorite so far is #06 Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold
Followed closely by #07 Zatoichi’s Flashing Sword

Matt’s Poem:
“You Fight, You Breathe” inspired by The Revenant
Also, a poem constructed from David Bowie’s lyrics

Craig impersonates DiCaprio’s heavy breathing

Unboxing #3

Cold Open:
Craig invents a Jewish-Australian palindrome “Oy, oy, a yoyo”

Matt meets Bob Odenkirk while needing to go to the bathroom
Craig meets Lanford Wilson and makes an awkward joke

Craig claims there’s a joke in the name Lutterworth, but never reveals it

Deleted Scenes: Marty
Ernest Borgnine “came out of the womb he looked about 35”
“Professor of Pain” is Matt’s favorite Morrisey B side
Craig finds a connection between Marty and the Island of dr Moreau

The Zatoichi Report:
No new movies watched

Matt’s Poem:
“The Guy Just Needs Something to Live For” inspired by Nebraska

Closing Credits:
“Choppin’ off your fingers like you’re Tom Hardy”

Unboxing #4

Cold Open:
Craig impersonates a bored lion

Deleted Scenes: Roar
A Lion King song makes a cameo

Craig is deemed a history buff

Pre and post-show rituals

The Zatoichi Report:
#09 The Adventures of Zatoichi
“A bit dull”, however with a great, amusing scene

Matt’s Poem:
“Blind Swordsman” inspired by Zatoichi (written probably after the third film)

No name checking of Okkervil River songs

Matt tells Craig “Good job” and then thinks about taking it back

Unboxing #5

Cold Open:
Matt’s feelings towards Harry Potter leads Craig to title his potential biography of Matt “Annoyed with Enthusiasm”

Two plays written by Matt and Craig get mentioned
“Terror at the Terror House”
“The English Way to Tear It All Apart”

Deleted Scenes: Left Behind
Craig claims he read for the part of Chloe and still remembers all the lines (which mainly include sobbing)
Weight-loss techniques from Fats Domino and Chubby Checker

The Zatoichi Report:
#10 Zatoichi’s Revenge – really good, Ichi rescues a woman from a brothel, still hasn’t had the laser eye surgery

Matt’s Poem:
“The Dust of Worms” inspired by Rome, Open City

Unboxing #6

Cold Open: Unboxing!

Nicholas Cage’s face on Cecil

The Zatoichi Report:
#11 Zatoichi and the Doomed Man – probably the funniest of the series, the ending battle is probably the best so far

Deleted Scenes: The Conqueror
The Gong Show

Persian flaws in Boogie Nights and Chinatown

Album Review:
Ben Nichols “The Last Pale Light in the West”

Matt describes his turntable and hi-fi setup

Sean Henry is immortalized in a song

Matt’s Poem:
“Ceiling Fan” inspired by Blood Simple

Closing Credits:
Strategies for watching the Conqueror on the big screen

Unboxing #7

Cold Open:
Craig has seen “Midnight Special”. Matt doesn’t care because Cecil’s gotten big

The guys remember their college years’ bombshell, Christy Turlington

The Zatoichi Report:
#12 Zatoichi and the Chess Expert – with the tensest moments yet
Also in afterthought, Matt says #08 is revealed to have a really strong emotional core, despite a baby peeing in everybody’s face

Deleted Scenes: Slap Shot
T-shirt tuxes will make you “formal wear Devo”

Matt reveals how long it takes to edit episodes

Good movies, bad dates:
Craig: Cyrano de Bergerac
Matt: The Exorcist

Matt’s Poem:
“Dark Fish” inspired by The Iceman Cometh

Closing Credits:
Song: “From a distance, some things are a bit blurry”

Unboxing #8

Cold Open:
Philosophy of not sweating things
Craig theorizes Lao Tsu’s suicide with a powder tube

Craig is drowning in gifts

The Zatoichi Report:
#13 Zatoichi’s Vengeance

Deleted Scenes: Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams
Matt’s Scorsese impression
Kurosawa seems to be channeling Townes van Zandt

Craig includes a Bare Naked Ladies CD in his million-dollar budget

Formative movies:
Craig: The Right Stuff

Matt’s Poem:
“Purple Sun” honoring Prince, using his lyrics

Recommendations for viewer Michael’s list:
Tona: Hitchcock’s Rope
Craig: Jarmush’s Dead Man
Matt: House-u

Craig’s descent is briefly and incompletely discussed

Unboxing #09

Cold Open: It’s time for Unboxing!

The Zatoichi Report:
No movies this time

Matt gives opinions on watching the Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of The Moon”
Also, he discusses watching Glengary Glen Ross to the sound of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here”
Craig claims to have watched King Kong to Flaming Lips’ “Soft Bulletin”

Movies which first made you realize not all movies are good:
Craig: The Devil and Max Devlin
Matt: Chu Chu and the Philly Flash

Matt’s Poem:
“The Three Hour Movie” written in the 90s, inspired by Eyes Wide Shut
Craig tries to figures out which movie it’s about. He gets it in two guesses.

Matt quotes Bo Diddley insults (dozens)

Unboxing #10

Cold Open:
Anti-spoiler talk (Big Hero 6, The Martian, The Revenant)

Choosing between Michael Keaton and Christian Bale:
In general, as an actor, as a road trip companion

Technical difficulties: Tona was inebriated during The Magician episode

Deleted Scenes: Batman: The Mask of Phantasm

Matt’s Poem:
“Telstar” inspired by Telstar: The Joe Meek Story

The Zatoichi Report:
#14 Zatoichi’s Pilgrimage – not as good as some previous entries. However, Ichi adopts a horse that can read.

Paw Kiss makes its first (and probably last) appearance

Unboxing #11 – Of Montreal Vinyl

Cold Open:
Matt can’t say anything like Rob Reiner
Craig is one-man Archie Bunker family

Most overrated movie of all time:
Craig says The Lion King, Matt concurs

Bad movie, good soundtrack:
Matt: Four Rooms (by Combustible Edison)

The Zatoichi Report:
#15 Zatoichi’s Cane Sword – Ichi does a song and dance number

Matt’s Poem:
“Welcome to the Breakfast Show” inspired by the second viewing of Gimme Shelter

Craig’s names one of his favorite poem:
Musee des Beaux Arts by W. H. Auden

“They Can’t Take That Away from Me” is actually a sad song
Matt does an impressions of Leonard Cohen singing it

Craig says goodbye with the old cathedral wave

Closing Credits:
Craig claims that Film Noir was invented by the French and to prove it he mentions Touchez pas au grisbi and Port of Shadows
A linguistic debate ensues

#12 8mm Classic Films!

Cold Open:
Craig has lawn mower problems. Matt calls him “such a married man”.

What movie would you remake or reboot:
Craig: remake of The Golden Compass
Matt: Fright Night (however, it has already been rebooted)

Matt discusses his Batman comics collections history

Deleted Scenes: Panic in Year Zero
Hooha’s Groceries “where we’ve got you all in check!”

The Zatoichi Report:
No new entries, however #4 Zatoichi, the Fugitive is discussed: Ichi sumo wrestles

Craig sings “That’s All I Have to Say”

Matt’s Poem:
“Z to A” inspired by Z for Zachariah

Craig tells of an ancient Greek (mistakenly labeling him as Roman) lawgiver Draco and his unusual death of suffocation with clothes

Matt does a brief impression of late-period Elvis

Craig scratches his head with a letter opener. Matt swears never to touch it, but Craig proves him wrong.

Closing Credits:
Matt gives a message to his future editor self. Craig gives him pep talk.

#13 Ultramagnetic MCs!

Cold Open:
Matt calls The Last Man on Earth “by far the best” I Am Legend adaptation
Discussion of American International Films
Craig makes a tiger noise in reaction to a low blouse in a Bergman film

Discussion of Scooby Snacks and other drugs

This Must Be the Place
Matt: “It’s the best premise of a movie, I think I’ve ever heard, but the movie itself I didn’t enjoy very much”

Deleted Scenes: Logan’s Run
A joked doomed to being cut

Make-up discussions

Jafar Panahi’s Taxi

The Zatoichi Report:
#16 Zatoichi the Outlaw – Ichi meets a pacifist samurai, kills a moth with a toothpick.
The film also features the immortal line “Leave, before I throw salt at you!”

Matt’s Poem:
“Loops” inspired by The Last Man on Earth

Looking: “The old-fashioned way, with our eyes”

#14 Stu T-shirts!

Cold Open:
Faust story and what differentiates us from animals

“Hot movie nuggets”

Good movie books
“Pictures at a Revolution” by Mark Harris
“They Live” by Jonathan Lethem
Anything by Pauline Kael

Favorite commentaries:
Matt: Mel Brooks’s Young Frankenstein
The Usual Suspects DVD
Craig: The Thief of Baghdad by Francis Ford Coppola

Deleted Scenes: Splice
A Splice/Game of Thrones crossover

The Zatoichi Report:
#17 Zatoichi Challenged – once again Ichi takes care of a boy, and there is a musical number
On this film, Hollywood movie “Blind Fury” was based on, which Matt subsequently watched and found terrible

Matt’s Poem:
“Tape Loop” inspired by Sound City

Craig hopes that TA stands for Thomas Alva

Closing Credits:
“The DVD Brexited my hand”

#15 Calexico on Vinyl

Cold Open:
The guys do an impromptu rendition of Surfing Bird

Favorite Disney movie:
Craig: Alice and Wonderland

Rewatching a movie you didn’t like:
Matt would sometime like to rewatch I’m Not There
Craig: Burn after Reading

Dreamcatcher: a talent bomb Matt saw right before starting the show and it would’ve been perfect. Also, “Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows are hilarious”

Deleted Scenes: Beethoven
“This is like that scene in [blank], but less funny”
The guys find the chase scene the least funny

The Zatoichi Report:
No new entries, but Matt talks about #04 Zatoichi on the Road
Ichi tortures a man with massage. Craig can relate.

Matt’s Poem: “Future Man” written after four (of five) consecutive viewings of Bottle Rocket

Theories on the superhero genre

An I’m Not There supernatural moment

#16 Johnny Thunders vinyl

Cold Open:
Craig needs to enunciate more, as he says “probably” “like some sort of goddamn Englishman”

Matt unboxes his belly

Craig takes enunciation a step too far when pronounces Philadelphia as Plidelaphia

Matt’s glasses make him look like Walter Cronkite so much that Craig expects him to report Kennedy’s assassination

A viewer’s view on Splice

Favorite TV shows:
Matt: Veep, Difficult People and Broad City for comedy and The Night Of for drama
Craig: The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for comedy and Game of Thrones for drama (also, The Dick Van Dyke Show)

Deleted Scenes: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
“There Won’t Be No Next Time” [the guys channel Sam Butera and Louis Prima]
“Cue the Benny Hill music”

The Zatoichi Report:
The movies are becoming a kind of grind
#18 Zatoichi and the Fugitives – although boring, it features Takashi Shimura and the series’ first arterial spray

Matt’s Poem:
“‘About’ Is Not as Important as ‘Is’” inspired by La Notte

Walter Matthau doesn’t understand punk rock

We get a goodbye from Pizza Mouth

Closing Credits:
Cecil makes a grab for a macaroon

#17 Van Dyke Parks on vinyl

Cold Open:
Matt says the name of the show is an example of verisimilitude

Some more discussion on The Lobster

Movies to see with a group:
Craig: Stop Making Sense

Tona wears a big jacket to a Talking Head movie

Deleted Scenes: The Cocaine Fiends
The guys settle on the theme for next September (crime, suicide, prostitution)
Matt give a Fat Albert impersonation

Craig doesn’t catch a postcard, but later performs magic with it

A discussion of Stranger Things digresses to Downtown Abbey, Sons of Anarchy and the Walking Dead

The Zatoichi Report:
#19 Samaritan Zatoichi, directed by Kenji Misumi (the director of the first film) – Ichi prevents a woman from being turned into a prostitute and defeats enemies while wrapped up in a reed rug

Matt’s Poem:
“The Human Spark” inspired by Lust for Life.

Matt guesses that TA Epley’s job is a teacher’s assistant

Closing credits:
A mumbling postman

#[special] STAR WARS Rogue One Toy Unboxing!

Matt plugs Star Wars Rebels where he voices Darth Vader and thanks the makers for sending him a DVD

Craig is a big fan of the metric system

Craig holds Matt at gunpoint to claim the toys for himself

#18 British Snacks!

Cold Open:
The Devil Wears Prada
Meryl Streep does a gag reel really well
“Meryl Streep messes up better than anyone in the business”

The guys do a Yoda-style introduction

“It’s not a Po’ Box at all”

“Screw you, Twin Peaks!”

Movies based on plays:
Craig: Vanya on 42nd Street and two versions of Henry V (Laurence Olivier and Kenneth Branagh)

Ernesto is on a diet and being treated for diabetes

“Cecil to Ernesto is what Cato is to Clouseau”

Deleted Scenes: The Girl Can’t Help It
Matt names drinks (the joke is repeated during the closing credits).
“Bottle it!”

Record Review:
The Housemartins “London 0 Hull 4”
“Radio Ready Wisconsin: Lost Power Pop Hits 1979-1982”
Of Montreal “Lousy with Sylvianbriar”

The Zatoichi Report:
#20 Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo – Ichi goes back to his hometown. This entry departs from the formula the most so far.
Matt had to watch Yojimbo (which he thought he already had)

Matt’s Poem:
“Tossing a Stick into the Air” inspired by Yojimbo

Closing Credits:
Matt names drinks (again)

#19 Razzle Dazzle coffee mugs!

Cold Open:
Little Shop of Horrors (the original) and Little Rascals make Matt think the world is not as it should be

The Zatoichi Report:
No new films and time is running away

Deleted Scenes: Scream, Blacula, Scream!
“Prince watched this movie and took notes”

The guys retell the story of their first meeting
A listening party of Lou Reed’s “Metal Machine Music”

If you could live in any fantasy or sci-fi movie world, which would it be?
Matt: What Dreams May Come
Craig: Golden Compass (eschewing The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy as Earth would be destroyed)

Album Review
Miles Davis “Bags’ Groove”
Slint “Spiderland”
Van Dyke Parks “Song Cycle”

Matt’s Poem:
“Scarlet and Scarlet” inspired by The Scarlet Pimpernel

Matt has strong opinions about coffee
“In the world of coffee heaters, he is the heatingest”

Closing Credits:
Craig complains the jacket is making him hot, but he can’t turn back now

#20 Frank Zappa Vinyl

Cold Open:
Cecil disturbs the filming

Craig has to convince everyone he’s wearing a costume (he keeps forgetting he’s dressed like this)

Deleted Scenes: Suspiria
“Soundtrack by Yma Sumac in great distress”
Matt is telepathic (but only with movies)

Album Review
Elvis Perkins “Ash Wednesday”
Alela Diane “About Farewell”
Bob Dylan “World Gone Wrong”

Matt congratulates Bob Dylan on winning Nobel Prize

Life-changing movies:
Craig: After Life [Japanese film]

What movie would you give to your younger self to help them get through their early 20s:
Matt: High Fidelity (to help himself get back to good music earlier)
Craig: same, but to warn himself about relationships

The Zatoichi Report:
#21 Zatoichi Goes to the Fire Festival – watched right before taping the episode. The best one in the series (despite the beginning not being promising). Also features a battle in a bathhouse.

Matt’s Poem:
“March Fourth 2014” inspired by Night and Fog

Closing Credits:
The music makes the guys move

#21 Mystery Box!

Cold Open:
Character actors
Craig: James Hong
Matt: Glenn Fleshler

Deleted Scenes: Bedtime for Bonzo
The Rock’n’Roll theme is partially brought back with references to Led Zeppelin and Big Mama Thornton

Album Review:
Rose Royce “The Car Wash” Soundtrack
Wild Billy Childish & CTMF “Acorn Man”
Bikini Kill “Bikini Kill”

Most overrated movie of all time:
Craig: Last Year in Marienbad
Matt: Avatar, although he admits it does not really qualify

The Zatoichi Report:
#22 Zatoichi Meets the One-Armed Swordsman – a bit of a letdown, although with some nice humor

Matt’s Poem:
“Milhouse Rex” inspired by Secret Honor

“Laurel AND Hardy?!”

“You’re not gonna tell me how to raise my baby!”

Craig is a gentleman. Well, most of the time.

Closing Credits:
The line from every cookie movie: “There’s something very strange going on round here!”

#22 Fugazi!

Cold Open:
Craig shares a gorilla suit story and compares the experience to being in an Abbot and Costello movie

Matt performs a little bit of the classic SNL sketch Sprockets, Craig offers his Jason Priestley impression

A Zatoichi haiku from a viewer

The Zatoichi Report:
#23 Zatoichi at Large – a bit dull despite the fact that Ichi delivers a baby and breastfeeds (which Matt doesn’t want to describe)

Matt and Craig sing a snippet of Tom Waits’s “Lonely” and Craig does a brief impression of Mick Jagger

Deleted Scenes: You Only Live Twice
Severus Snape makes a cameo: “Have You finished your art direction, Mr Pottle?”
Matt references Jimmy Buffett’s “Volcano”
Alternative theme song lyrics
Alternate lyrics to the movie’s theme song: “You only live once, then you’re in space”

Matt explains how he researches information for the introductions

Album Review:
Calexico “Black Light”
Novos Baianos “Acabou Chorare”
Godspeed You! Black Emperor “Yanqui U.X.O.”

Matt’s Poem:
“Dig a Deep Hole and Get In” inspired by The Left-Handed Gun

Craig expects blackmail

“Stop smoking … take it from the Basement”

Craig guesses a post hardcore band correctly despite not knowing anything about it

Closing Credits:
Craig talks about watching Sicario at night

#23 Freaks!

Cold Open:
Christmas memories and gifts
Craig was a nerdy child (his favorite gift was a globe)
Matt brags about his Death Star playset

Favorite black and white old-timey comfort film:
Matt: any Noir movie (to avoid answering It’s a Wonderful Life)
Craig: 49th Parallel

Director you liked but recently released some bad movies
Craig: Robert Zemeckis
Matt: M Night Shyamalan

Remaking movies discussion

Ray Milland (and a bat) make an appearance

Deleted Scenes: Miracle on 34th Street
Matt misremembers “I Love Lucy” title as “Lucy Loves Chachi”
“What’s the Canadian fur? – I don’t know”

Album Review
Buck Owens single: “Close up the Honky Tonks” b/w “My Heart Skips a Beat”
“The Best of Bob Newhart!”
Frank Zappa “Hot Rats”

Lego Star Wars transporter presentation

The Zatoichi Report:
#24 Zatoichi in Desperation – by far the darkest, directed by Ichi himself. Also, has a money shot.

“The Glue” inspired by Mikey and Nicky

#24 Japanese Guilt Dolls

Cold Open:
Totoro evoked childhood memories of moving for Matt. Not for Craig though, as he confesses he still lives with his parents.

Craig performs his best postcard catch of the year.

Album Review:
Fugazi “Fugazi” (Matt talks about a different Stu you eat with your ears)
Blue Angel “Blue Angel”

Postcards get thrown to the tune of the Sabre Dance

The Zatoichi Report:
#25 Zatoichi’s Conspiracy – Ichi escapes from a swamp, but it’s a rather forgettable entry

Craig promises to read his poems from around 12 years ago next year

Best snow movies:
Matt: McCabe and Mrs Miller
Craig: Fargo


Unboxing Season 2 (concurrent with Welcome to the Basement Season 6)

#25 Eddie Money!

Cold Open:
Matt Reminisces about a magical moment watching The Benny Hill show

Craig still hasn’t seen The Terminal

The Zatoichi Report:
Matt recounts his own saga of obtaining the last few films
#26 Zatoichi: Darkness Is His Ally – made over a decade after the previous one, kind of removed from the formula as Ichi is an old man
Craig reveals he didn’t fulfill his quota of Zatoichi movies

Changes to be made to Oscars
Craig: merge the sound design award; give awards to overlooked contenders from the past years

Matt gives his guacamole recipe and advice
Craig is a salsa man

A brief discussion of writer’s block and a book recommendation: “On Writing” by Stephen King

Craig forgot to bring his poem and uses his baby as an excuse

The guys receive a movie whose title needs to be bleeped out. Craig suspects a curse.

Gifts from Liam Neeson?

#26 Werner Herzog

Cold Open:
Craig recounts seeing August Wilson while reading Fences.

The Young Ones was Matt’s Monty Python

Album Review
The Wynona Ryders “JD Salinger”

Favourite track on They Might Be Giants “Apollo 18”
Craig: I Palindrome I
Matt: Mammal (least favorite: The Guitar)
Craig shows a photo of himself with one of the Johns

Once loved director who took a downward turn
Craig: Woody Allen

Deleted Scenes: Pride and Prejudice
“Netherfield, the home of the Balrog!”
“Becoming a couch”
Craig is “stalking by himself in a stupid manner”
Matt makes an ungettable Phish reference

Matt plugs the Lego Star Wars show

Craig mentions a poem he wrote a long time ago, but does not read it, as it wasn’t that good

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
April 28th 2006 A Black John Stewart
April 29th 2006 Loud music during dinner
May 1st 2006 A piece of human finger in a burger
May 7th 2006 Drinking at Mickey’s with Craig

Craig recommends visiting Dr. Evermore’s Forevertron

The Zatoichi Report:
Final thoughts and the user’s guide to approaching the Zatoichi franchise

The Best ones:
#1 and #2 (basically two parts of the same story)
#3 New Tale of Zatoichi (first one in color)
#6 Zatoichi and a Chest of Gold
#7 Zatoichi’s Flashing Sword (directed by Kazuo Ikehiro)
#11 Zatoichi and the Doomed Man (one of the funnier ones)
#12 Zatoichi and a Chess Expert
#15 Zatoichi’s Cane Sword (interesting plot)
#20 Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo (featuring Toshiro Mifune)
#21 Zatoichi Goes to the Fire Festival (the best along #6 and #7)
#24 Zatoichi in Desperation (super gritty)
#26 Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman (in a completely different era)

But avoid these ones:
#9 Adventures of Zatoichi
#18 Zatoichi and the fugitives
#22 Zatoichi and the One-Armed Swordsman
#23 Zatoichi at Large
#25 Zatoichi’s Conspiracy

Matt tries putting an album in his earhole

Due to a wine pouring mix-up Matt proposes to “swap glasses like a couple of high-class gays”

#27 British Bacon Snack!

Cold open:
Craig realized that the Oscars were fallible when Stevie Wonder won for ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You’

Craig loses his postcard snatching ability

Best hairstyles:
Craig: Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, John Barrymore in Twentieth Century

Ice cream and childhood food trauma discussion

Deleted Scenes: Doctor Sardonicus
Waving hands “like you just don’t care”
Ballroom Blitz makes a surprising appearance
Matt recommends kissing therapy

Craig gets caught trying to hide money

Craig breaks the letter opener while opening an envelope “in an unorthodox manner”

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
May 13th 2006 Hats
May 25th 2006 Hot Girl tattoo
(Craig gets the theme wrong)

Closing credits:
Musical saw impressions

#28 Fritz The Cat Tattoo

Cold open:
More than 5 best picture Oscar nominations

The guys don’t get a “creepy” movie quote from Network nor a quote from Blue Is the Warmest Color

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
May 15th 2006 Clamato-flavored tortilla chips snacks

Deleted Scenes: The Valley of Gwangi
“We’re doing a panorama pan with a panorama cam”
In the spirit of The Rocky Horror Picture Show Matt throws a pantomime roll of toilet paper
A cowboy pulls a Luke Skywalker on Gwangi

Movies you’ve seen and wish you could view on the show but now can’t
Craig: Stranger than Paradise

The guys perform the motif from ‘I Put a Spell on You’

Matt reveals how they record audio during the movies

Movies seen, but not discussed
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Sin City
Inglourious Basterds
The Illusionist (animation)

Closing Credits:
Shocking nude daguerreotypes

#29 Rite of Spring

What kind of big budget movie would you make?
Matt: hire the best and as many actors as I can afford and have them do improv

The distinction between Best Picture and Best Director

Album Review:
Harmonium “Harmonium”
The Claypool Lennon Delirium “Monolith of Phobos”
Ultramagnetic MC’s “Critical Beatdown”

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Common theme: anger
May 5th 2006 Credit card receipts
May 25th 2006 Talking at work
June 29th 2006 A women farting at a store

Deleted Scenes: Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Craig claims to have changed breast-wise, but later still tries to lean over to look at the cleavage
A possible appearance of Stu working the forklift
“All I know is snake”
Craig begs Matt to stab him in the neck with a pen

The discussion of the La La Land-Moonlight Oscar mix-up

The original Oscar cold open

Craig happens to mention he doesn’t have a Bluray player

Closing credits:
Matt performs Herbie Hancock’s Rockit

#30 Happy Gilmore Laserdisc

Cold Open:
Tooth pulling and other dentist experiences

This isn’t “Bunboxing”

The Valley of Gwangi Ernesto crossover fan art

Movies you’d like to review for the show but can’t:
Craig: Deep Throat

Craig tells a story about watching the first reel of Deep Throat in a bar

A brief history of the Western score from two viewers

A viewer’s Ray Harryhausen story

Deleted Scenes: The Three Musketeers
A Time Bandits reference
Matt sings Peter Gabriel’s Not One of Us. Once again, Craig is not a music fan.
“I also know the way to Sanctuary”
Matt lies about being known as a diamond stud in college
Oompa Loompas after Willy Wonka

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Common theme: Vanity (according to Craig)
May 8th 2006 An umbrella / A hook
May 9th 2006 An umbrella

The Zatoichi Report replacement:
The 11 remaining movies from the Girls, Guns and G-strings collection.

Closing Credits:
The guys try to sing the Hard Ticket to Hawaii song, but Craig fumbles it and Matt calls him a poor duetist

#31 British Space Funyuns

Cold Open:
Which Beatle would play which Musketeer?

A viewer starts The Coltrane Report via postcards

Deleted Scenes: The Prisoner of Shark Island
“Thank you, talking Penny”
“Ugh, character development… Get on with the plot!”
A lackluster rendition of Oh Christmas Tree

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Crime and punishment
Jan 22nd 2007 A serial killer; Craig goes to prison

Which famous person would you like to play in a movie?
Craig: the actor Edwin Booth (Matt volunteers to play his dresser)

The season of the show with worst movies?
Matt: season 3 with 7 bad movies.

Craig shares a photo of Lorenzo wearing the hat sent by a viewer

Matt doesn’t have an online catalog of his record collection

The guys catch postcards with their ankles (off-camera)

The Hard Ticket Report:
#1 Malibu Express “Plays like a really boring episode of Magnum PI with boobs”
“This car is tits”
“God I love intrigue”
“I’m as big as a beer can, but real long”
“Boy that was really a horseshit trip to Palm Springs. I got my ass whipped, my borrowed car got shot up and I was raped.”
“Go ahead, go for it, make my day”
“-Blow him away!
– I can’t, all I see is tits!”
“June’s gorgeous front porch really saved our ass.”

Closing credits:
A buoyant werewolf makes an appearance

#32 Fan Art – Unboxing

Craig does an impromptu song “Now it’s time for unboxing”

No boxes this times. Craig suspects a strike at the box factory.

What movie would you like to unwatch and rewatch for the first time?
Matt: Wages of Fear
Craig: Fight Club

Tona is in the shot

Perfect editing in a movie?
Craig: Goodfellas

Album review:
The Hotelier “Home, Like No Place Is There”
Pinegrove “Cardinal”

The flaw of Groundhog Day: the poster

The Hard Ticket Report:
#2 Picasso Trigger – the acting has improved and the fun has somewhat declined
“Another bitchin’ day in paradise, right?”
“Damn! That chopper’s got a bazooka!”
“I’m going to plug into Washington with my computer.”
“Didn’t I tell you, Jade? I got a black belt in shotgun!”
“- What a night!
– Yeah, me too!”

Deleted Scenes: Corvette Summer
More Low Rider renditions
“MacArthur High is melting in the dark”
“OK Comedian, the new album by Radiohead”
Star Wars and Duel references

Matts reads out a continuation of the six word Hemingway novel,
“For sale, baby shoes, never worn”
Craig beats Hemingway to the game using only five words.

Stu pops by to say he loves New York

Craig threatens to call Matt every time the baby wakes him up in the middle of the night

Closing credits:
Who does he think he is?

#33 Blue Valentine

Cold open:
A middle-aged man enthusiastically signaling for a truck to honk

A brief discussion of Heist and more praise for Jimmy Silk

Craig is disappointed about Cape Disappointment

The Zatoichi Report:
2003 reboot Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman
Matt says it’s okay, but then rants for quite some time

More about the Monkees movie Head

International movies on the show

Deleted Scenes: Zabriskie Point
“Tie or beard, make your decision!”
The guys dance to country and do air drums and air bass to Pink Floyd
Craig is undergoing Stockholm syndrome
“Set the controls for the heart of the fun”

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Theme: Vacation
Two blog entries are reframed as a two-act play: “Cold Steel”
Craig does an extemporaneous epilogue

A postcard with an audible texture

Closing credits: A connection between Zabriskie Point and North by Northwest (and Jack Warner)

#34 Curly Wurlies!

Cold Open:
Fight Club is a young man’s movie
A discussion of how times have changed

“Rollin’ like a bunch of ravers on an ecstasy new year’s eve excitement adventure”

Matt gives a definition of an art film. Craig gives a definition of an Art film.

Who’s to blame for a bad movie?

Album review:
Andrew Bird “Are You Serious”

Deleted Scenes: Paprika
Slugworth creeps into the movie
“Axl Rose, we’re gonna use your delusion”
“The most Japanese shot in any movie!”

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
May 31st 2006 An Ernest Borgnine rant (while the man was still alive unbeknownst to Matt)

The Hard Ticket Report:
#3 Savage Beach – Shane Abilene is the newest and the most shameful addition to the Abilene family yet
Disappearing camo face paint
“The next time you try to smuggle China White through our territory you get that bomb up your ass”
“The cancer clutches ever tighter at my heart”
“Airplanes are like birds. They’re meant to fly. Nothing can bring them down.”
“Let’s toast to the warriors of all nations”

#35 Lego Basement

Cold Open:
Matt gets really angry when people say Ringo was a lousy drummer

Craig misidentifies cat language as Chinese

A movie so bad you couldn’t finish it:
Matt: The Fugitive Kind (1960) “a talent bomb to end all talent bombs”
Craig: Spike Lee’s Chi-Raq

Nowadays, Matt doesn’t turn off movies, even if they’re as bad as The Comedian (2016)

Grease one or Grease 2?
Craig: “Grease one! Grease 2 sucks!”

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Another play “A Memorable Rememberance” featuring a prisoner and a peach

The Hard Ticket Report:
#4 Guns – featuring Danny Trejo in a small role
“I do it all. Everything from busting heads to baking bread.”
“Take the cerebral approach. Shoot her in the head!”
“Eat a sack of shit, fat man!”
“Two of our people were taken out by some fat guy with magic tricks!”
“I want to feel the power of controlling life… and death!”
“Bitch is uncanny! We didn’t even know she was there!” (which spoken by Danny Trejo sounded like a Tarantino line in his mouth)

Craig intones a song “Hard Ticket to the Basement”

A discussion: Is screen acting acting? The guys say yes.

A package from a dead director or from someone with the same name

#36 Samurai Sword

Cold Open:
I guess it’s time for Unboxing

Album Review:
Filthy Thieving Bastards “My Pappy Was a Pistol”
Twin Shadow “Eclipse”
The Heavy “Hurt and Merciless”

Matt talks about two screenplays he’s written
“Killing Pennsylvania”
“Eric’s Girl” written with his buddy Mike

Favorite movie critics:
Craig: Rogert Ebert, Gene Siskel, Pauline Kael, James Agee, Mark Kermode

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
July 20th 2006 Matt’s idea for an episode of Cheers (new beer)

Craig challenges Matt to a miniature samurai sword duel

Favorite wedding scene:
Matt: Four Weddings and a Funeral, The Deer Hunter
Craig: The Godfather

“We are ass deep in letter openers”

For a second Craig has a childhood fear for a razor blade in a candy bar

Closing Credits:
Craig has a conversation with Ethan Hawke

#37 They Might Be Giants

Cold Open:
Gunga Din is a movie with all other characters being more interesting than the main or titular role
Other movies like this: Being there
The guys can’t remember Hal Ashby’s name until Matt can

Matt says Martyrs is too intense, dark and nihilistic for him to see

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
Sep 29th 2006 Tona does edgy comedy

Deleted Scenes: Barbarella
Matt becomes a Muppet performer
Matt tries to trick professor Ping into doing a mime routine
Ray Manzarek – the Positronic Ray of the 60s

What older movie might interest someone in older films?
Matt: screwball comedies like His Girl Friday, Bringing up Baby
Craig: It Happened One Night

Bad great movies:
Matt: The Assassin (2015), Birth of a Nation
Craig: Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Craig gives a definition of a bad great movie

The Hard Ticket Report:
#5 Do or Die – featuring Pat Morita having sex
“You will feel a great self-awareness between the parts I touch and the spirit of your gorgeous body”
(“Wax on, wax off indeed”)
“You will know all you need to know about me by game’s end. Or perhaps you will learn more than you need to know if you die before the game ends.”
“In the game of death the risk tolerance is human life”
“I’m gonna blow her tits off!”

Closing Credits:
Albert Hitchcock doesn’t call his lawyer about the birds in Barbarella

#38 Working Class Dog

Jeff Goldblum is Craig’s spirit animal

Matt remembers Radical Rye and a sudden downpour

Matt can’t watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 anymore. Craig ponders the irony of life concerning riffing.

Boxers or briefs:
Matt: boxer briefs (the only answer)

Deleted Scenes: Big Trouble in Little China
Lawyers and magic
Craig picks a bone with Kurt Russel’s hair
“It’s a Wonderful Life, except with more guns”
Forward moonwalk

Album review:
Pinhead Gunpowder “Kick over the Traces”

Craig missed a Green Day gig and an opportunity to become Mrs. Armstrong

Matt’s Curb Your Enthusiasm idea:
“Boy, it’s chilly in here” Larry goes to a party and does Bikram yoga

#39 Mini Sword

Russian history is rewritten in “I, Atopov: The Story of the Last Czar”

Craig showcases his acting talents

Thoughts on Carnival of Souls

Guernica might be Matt’s favorite paining. Craig proposes a trip to Spain

When somebody says, “It’s just a movie”

Favourite genres:
Craig: lately Samurai
Matt: Film Noir

Donations in memory of Ernesto

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
December 10th 2006 Smoke in the kitchen

Deleted Scenes: The Valley of the Dolls
Pathé joke for the real movie fans
Craig tells a plumbing joke
Matt performs pantomime
Matt quotes Beat It and leaves Matt the editor a choice
Beach Boys’ “Smile” fails the couch test
Porter Wagoner dislikes a suit

The guys haven’t seen At Close Range

The Hard Ticket Report:
#6 Hard Hunted – featuring girl-on-girl sex without sex, a cross-ethnic performance and amnesia
“Even James Bond takes time out for sex”
“I have a contact in Arizona. He’s reliable. He’s Asian.”
“What was your wide strategy in sparing the wind surfer?”
“I knew I should have never let you go to that boat show alone”
“For your sextrology forecast dial 555 KSXY”
“When we finish with her she will be singing the song of death and Lucas will applaud her from hell”

Matt got too bored with Computer Chess to watch it

Closing Credits:
Matt fails at a purse commercial

#40 Metallica

Cold Open:
House ghosts and things of unknown origin found around the house
Matt finds his long-lost The Long Goodbye DVD

Album Review: (old favorites)
Johnny Thunders “So Alone”
Prince “Sign of the Times”
Led Zeppelin “Guy with Sticks on Back” or “IV”

Favorite punk movie:
Craig: Repo Man

Matt teases a long movie (2h45m) he’d really like to watch on the show, but keeps the title to himself

Deleted Scenes: BMX Bandits
“When that kid turns sideways he’s merely two-dimensional”
Craig sings “Grease Lightning”

Matt’s Curb Your Enthusiasm idea:
Larry gives a dog toy to a toddler as a present

The Zatoichi Report:
Ichi Walrus comics

Craig confuses photographs with reality

Closing Credits:
Craig does a cantankerous Stanley Kubrik impression

#41 Zombie Mom

Cold Open:
Matt tells a Marlon Brando Story courtesy of Greg Benson

The guys are Twin Peaks fans

Fainting while watching Interview with a Vampire

Best and worst father in cinema:
Craig: the worst: James Coburn in Affliction; the best: Oh God! You Devil!
Matt: “Take that, Atticus Finch!”

Is William Holden laconic? Apparently not.

Album Review:
Julie Byrne “Not Even Happiness”
Peter Hammill “Over”

Deleted Scenes: The Wild One
Craig hits Matt with a beer
“Brando got fat!”

The Hard Ticket Report:
#7 Fit to Kill – boring and quoteless
Matt will not report on the movies until there’s something to report

Craig does a Felix the Cat impression

Crumb (not discussed)

Dispatches from Matt’s Myspace blog:
April 14th 2007 Matt calls experimental film “lazy boring nonsense”. Tona wants to slap a movie.

Craig joins in on the discussion and mentions Meshes of the Afternoon as a good experimental film

Day of the Dead Mom photo

#42 Crazy Glasses

Cold Open:
Knocking people cold with one hit to the head
Thug engineering

Craig reveals his grandma lived in Amityville, NY

Movie/TV show quotes you like to use in real life:
Matt: “Let’s shoot this fucker!” from Ed Wood
Craig: “Cheese!” ala Wallace & Gromit

Album Revies:
“I Have a Cat-Shaped Hole in My Heart”
EmpathP “A Wicked Girl and a Tin Boy”

Book Review:
Paul Gallico “Love of Seven Dolls” (made into the movie Lili)

Deleted Scenes: The Rocketeer
Matt loves a John Polito face
“- Runs on alcohol
– Just like me”
Fibber McGee should straighten his closet for once
Alan Arkin’s voice sounds different in every scene
Lothar of the Hill People makes a surprising appearance

Matt rewatches the original Twin Peaks and discusses the first dream sequence

Which actor would you like to portray you in a movie about your life?
Craig: Kyle MacLachlan

What movie would have been more recognized if released in a different decade?
Matt: Fantasia
Craig: God’s Pocket

Matt explains why he hates Chasing Amy

The Hard Ticket Report:
#8 Enemy Gold – directed by Drew Sedaris
“Someone knocked over my watermelon stand this morning. I lost over a hundred kilos of the world’s finest cocaine”
“After all the crime we face in our jobs, it’s nice to get away”
“I’m suffering from a bad case of PMS. I wouldn’t test my patience if I were you!”
“This is the perfect opportunity to take care of these meddling agents. And when we find them, we can hunt them down like small animals, and no one will be able to hear their cries of pain and despair!”

Craig loves Carnival of Souls, recommended to him by none other than Matt Sloan

Matt impersonates jazz musician Wayne Shorter doing comedy bits between songs

#43 Scrooge McDuck

Cold Open:
Cecil scratched an Alley Cat record
A cat named Edge that Craig used to know pulled two “Maus” books from a library

Matt does a George Takei impression

Matt talks about postponing movies for the show for various reasons

If you had to live in a movie, what would it be?
Craig: On the Town

The Zatoichi Report:
The Zatoichi Walrus #2

Album review:
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes “Have a Ball” and “Blow in the Wind”

Matt’s Curb Your Enthusiasm idea:
Larry names a dog Charlie, same as the Funkhauser’s dog

Juliet of the Spirits (Matt’s seen it)

Craig improvises a B-52’s song Juliet of the Spirits

Closing Credits:
Craig is going to wear his plethora of pins down his jacket like Rik from the Young Ones
Craig quotes “Pollution”

#44 Big Bag O’ Chips

Cold Open:
Liked and disliked Halloween candy

“Very hard to catch a 3D postcard”

Horror movies which excel at being more than that:
Matt: comedy horrors Evil Dead, Cabin in the Woods
Craig: drama horrors Sixth Sense, Rosemary’s Baby

Matt’s ocean sailing ambitions

Matt catches a postcard

A viewer’s cinema immersion tank with five different versions of Blade Runner

Perfect cult movie
Craig: Harold and Maude

Which is sadder: The Elephant Man or Requiem for a Dream?
Matt: The Elephant Man

Album review:
“Repo Man” soundtrack
Joe Strummer “Rock Art and the X-Ray Style”

Deleted Scenes: The Omen
Matt turns the calendar
The curse of the Omen
More burr-burr-burr
“Horton hears a you”
The Omen almost turns into a Disney musical

The Hard Ticket Report:
#9 The Dallas Connection – set everywhere but Dallas
“To be a world-renowned scientist and to have a body of a Greek God? You’re too much Jean Pierre”
“My Jet Ski is not working”
“Right cross is something you’re born with. It’s a natural thing, you don’t just learn it. Not like that Kung Fu crap!”
“I was with a great looking chick. She showed me her hooters and then nailed me with a taser gun”

Craig nurses a bag of chips

Closing Credits:
The Omen slam poetry session

#45 Monsters!

Cold Open:
Craig uses a The Room quote in real life
“Damn you Tommy Wiseau!”

“I can’t touch a breast, I’m married”

Movies you used to love, but can’t stand to watch now:
Craig: The Goonies or Unbearable Lightness of Being (depends on how you understand the question)

Matt doesn’t think an occasional third person on the couch is a good idea for the show

Deleted Scenes: Shampoo
“Warren Beaty – whatever he’s wearing, he’s gonna rock”
The guys dance to “the sexiest song in the world”
A man gets impregnated

Album review:
The Rural Alberta Advantage “Hometowns”
The Dead Deads single “For Brooke” b/w “Weedo”

Matt’s Curb Your Enthusiasm idea:
Larry becomes a rap music fan

A package of DVDs, two of which Matt has seen
Something Wild (which he loves)
Heartbeeps (which he calls terrible)

Closing Credits:
Matt performs Baby I’m a Star to Craig’s concern

#46 Sleater-Kinney

Cold Open:
Keeping track of the many Carradines

Wine tasting

Go-to 80s action movies:
Matt: Predator and Alien
Craig: Road Warrior and Raiders of the Lost Ark

Matt reveals that although they watch movies for the show only once (riffing and keeping track of the plot simultaneously) he has recorded some additional jokes and covered them with film footage over the past two seasons

Matt gives record shopping advice

Matt tells the story of meeting The Pixies’ Joey Santiago’s mother

Deleted Scenes: Desperately Seeking Susan
Blackie Lawless is sincere about lawlessness
Madonna says goodbye astrally

Craig briefly talks about The City of God

The Hard Ticket Report:
Matt states the movies are “just dumb and they suck and are made by idiots and jerks”
#10 Day of the Warrior – featuring a stereotypical Asian Elvis impersonator
Only one quote:
– “Foo, we’ve got work to do.
– Ah, so!”

Matt makes fun of Craig pronouncing llamas as “yamas”

Closing Credits:
Matt analyses Madonna’s Into the Groove

#47 Mix Tape

Cold Open:
The Godfather spoilers

Best stocking gifts:
Matt: Life Savers rolls storybook
Craig: a good pen
Tona: apples, oranges, bananas, vanilla wafers and cheeses

Craig does an Andre the Giant impression, Matt impersonates Muppet Lew Zealand doing an Andre Giant impression

Matt cannot catch 3D postcards

Will Matt make a music biopic for $100 million about Eddie Money?

Which actor has given a best performance in an otherwise poorly made movie?
Craig: Mickey Rourke in The Expendables

The transformation of Sandy at the end of Grease

Deleted Scenes: Krampus
Gun slang confuses Matt
“Cranky and Bored: the two dwarfs that didn’t live”
Gingerbread man in a gingerbread house trauma

Album Review:
Oingo Boingo “Boi-ngo”

A discussion of Christmas episodes and editions

150 movies a year challenge update

A discussions of mix tapes

Favorite family vacation memories
Craig: Hiding in Rocky Mountains
Matt: Catching frogs

#48 Star Trek Christmas

Cold Open:
Billy Crystal and Martin Short: the last of the vaudevillians?

Are the guys basement idiots?

A viewer engaged in the Cinema Immersion Tank

How were you introduced to Akira Kurosawa?
Craig: through Ran
Matt: through Throne of Blood

Mixtape discussion
Craig uses radio DJs talking over song intros to his advantage

Album Review:
Crime “Murder By Guitar 1976-1980 (The Complete Studio Recordings)”
J Church “Nostalgic for Nothing”

The Hard Ticket Report:
#11 Return to Savage Beach
Matt is “done with this shit”

Matt set another challenge for himself
Watch 13 films of John Ford in 2018
The list:
The Iron Horse 1924
The Whole Town’s Talking 1935
The Informer 1935
Young Mr. Lincoln 1939
Tobacco Road 1941
How Green Was My Valley 1941
They Were Expendable 1945
My Darling Clementine 1946
Wagon Master 1950
The Quiet Man 1952
Mogambo 1953
The Horse Soldiers 1959
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance 1962

Closing Credits:
Matt drinks wine continental style


Unboxing Season 3 (concurrent with Welcome to the Basement Season 7)

#49 Rocketeer Comics

Cold Open:
Matt adjusts the calendar
What is allowed in the Basement

Matt informs the viewers about the Post Office error and the package backlog

The Remains of the Day

Films for “directly injecting cinematography into the bloodstream”
Matt: The Polish film Ashes and Diamonds
Craig: The Chinese film Raise the Red Lantern

The first animated movie you remember seeing
Matt doesn’t remember
Craig: The Aristocats or Snow White

Craig went to high school at the same time as (then current) U.S. Senator Paul Ryan

How to deal with writer’s block and self-doubt

What book adaptation matches if not exceeds the source material?
Craig: Slaughterhouse Five
Matt: Chuck Jones’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas

The guys do James Mason impressions

Deleted Scenes: Miami Connection
Craig worries about wasting cocaine
Matt Foley teaches IT
Martial arts and guitar lessons from the movie
The movie is making Matt stupid

The Ford Report:
#1 The Iron Horse – the silent one, also featuring the first “not” joke

Closing Credits:
The movie makes Craig want to listen to .38 Special

#50 Batman / Mattman

Cold Open:
Craig purrs

Still dealing with the post office screw-up

A telegram (a message from the 1890s)

Tona loves eggs

Tokyo Godfathers

Perfect double feature
Matt: The Darkest Hour and Dunkirk (even better, have somebody cut them together)
Craig also recommends inserting the Dunkirk sequence from Atonement into the Darkest Hour

Has any movie made you physically sick?
Craig: no, but Green Room almost did
Matt: the only visual material to do that was Pet Shop Boys’ music video for It’s a Sin

“Pet Shop Boys – they make me dance and they make you throw up”

Deleted Scenes: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Matt quotes The Who’s Athena
Matt ends other people’s sentences with “in bed”
White supremacists ruin the movie

A postcard with mysterious text makes Craig think a heist is underway

Album Review:
The Vindictives “Leave Home”
A viewer’s mixtape

Craig liked Disney’s Flight of the Navigator as a kid

Closing Credits:
The guys dance to Greek music

#51 Kung Fu Ghosts

Cold Open:
Craig watched The Phantom Thread with only two other people in the theater

Worst Valentine’s Day:
Matt gets weirded-out by grade school Valentines
Craig says his worst V-day is 2011 but refuses to give details

The guys catch up with the overdue packages caused by the Post Office error

Film tropes or cliches you still enjoy
Matt: The booze hound throws liquor away after seeing a monster. Also high-pitched screams by grown-up men

Famous people whose work you respect and love, but would never want to meet them?
Craig says it’s people he knows don’t want to talk to him and he has nothing to ask them: Sam Shepherd and David Lynch. Also, people whose work are great but are reprehensible themselves, like James Woods.

Seeing famous people and talking or not talking to them
Matt: Tracy Letts, Rowan Atkinson
Craig: Gabriel Byrne

A cat is having an adventure off-screen

Deleted Scenes: Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
Mexican Paul Simon
BMtHoAG meets Stripes
The guys sing The Smiths’ Ask

The Ford Report:
The Whole Town’s Talking – meta-humor and split-screen magic in 1935

Closing Credits:
Locker room erections

#52 George Carlin

Cold Open:
Going back in time to buy real estate

Craig sings We Three Kings while playing poker

Matt transforms into the character Libby from A Star Is born

Barbra Stanwyck makes Craig unable to catch postcards

Lynyrd Skynyrd go to Freeburg

What’s in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction?
Craig: The Usual Suspects script
Matt: We don’t know, same as with Kiss Me Deadly and Repo Man

Matt recommends Something Wild (1961)

Deleted Scenes: A Star Is Born
Jerry Lewis words
Foot sex
Matt references Ironweed
“Hammer time!”

Funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
Craig: The In-Laws (1979)
Matt: Young Frankenstein

Book Review:
Jack Handy “The Stench of Honolulu”

Matt does a Richard Pryor impression

Matt will not be mocked

Closing Credits:
Matt professes love to Craig

#53 Lifesavers

Cold Open:
Matt has a dream involving Craig and fridge magnets
The guys call each other nerds

The guys (don’t) wrestle for the only big envelope

Craig surprisingly whips out a party blower

The guys name REM as their favorite band

The guys do a Mozart laugh impression. Craig does an unsolicited Salieri laugh.

Going alone to the movies

Watching movies made by people who have done truly unethical things

Three best Muppet films
Craig: The Muppet Movie, The Muppets, The Great Muppet Caper

Deleted Scenes: The Weekend
Craig reads in French
Jean Luc Goddard meets Sir Mix-a-Lot
“Still Honking After All These Years”
Craig lights up at the prospect of screwing
The guys do some drumming. Craig breaks his pen.

Album Review:
Jose Jimenez “Talks to Teenagers of All Ages”
Jose Jimenez “The Astronaut. First Man in Space”

The Ford Report:
The Informer – featuring the best drunk performance

Closing Credits:
The Weekend is entirely composed of the most convenient scene for going to the bathroom

#54 More They Might Be Giants

Cold Open:
Matt goes to Alex Jordan’s House on the Rock
Craig tells architect stories

Moving in alone

Craig starts doing shenanigans while Matt reads out donors

Twin Peaks Season 3

Deleted Scenes: Old Yeller
Fatherly advice and the circle of life
Craig recites Big country’s Big Country
“Old Yeller gets his”
A song: Young Yeller is a Bastard
Craig predicts young Yeller’s fate

Favorite film set in New England (bonus points for New Hampshire)
Craig: Ghost Story
Matt: The World According to Garp

Is getting HBO worth it?
Matt says yes and recommends High Maintenance

Matt talks about the music video to Mama by Exo-M
Craig couldn’t be bothered to watch it

Matt starts a new feature: Episode Recommendation
The Valley of the Dolls

Vegemite tasting

Album Review:
The B-52s “Funplex”

Closing Credits:
Old Yeller meets Firefly

#55 Beastie Boys

Cold Open:
Matt rewatches his favorite B movie Strangler of the Swamp
Craig apologizes to his mum for still not watching This Is Us

Crosscutting names in movies
Matt: Archie Leech in A Fish Called Wanda is the given name of Carry Grant

Sandy Martin in Three Billboards looks like Matt as a Lunch Lady

Films you used to love but can’t stand to watch now?
Matt: Reservoir Dogs

What movie was the biggest letdown or waste of your time?
Craig: Sullivan’s Travels

How do you eat soup with a fork?

Matt reads from a beat poetry book
Craig gets beat poets wrong

Album Review:
Corporal 45 “Obama 2 & 1” b/w “Effortless” (fronted by Michael Shannon)

Episode Recommendation:
Billy Jack

The Ford Report (now with a completely inappropriate theme song):
Young Mr Lincoln – featuring a rail splitting contest and an acting masterclass scene

Craig rectifies his mistake about mixing which Muppet movies Charles Grodin and Charles Durning were in

Matt has too many wrapping bags. Craig recommends making a quilt.

Matt doesn’t get a drawing. Then he does.

Closing Credits:
More from “the catio”

#56 Sloan Vinyl

Cold Open: (shot as the filming was ending)
Joseph Cotton as an actor (and a braggart)
A Blueprint for Murder
Green Fog

Craig distracts Matt while he’s reading out donors

Do you still watch movies from your childhood?
Matt: Young Frankenstein
Craig: Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

A film adaptation where you enjoy the book and the movie equally
Craig: Brokeback Mountain

Craig shares the key to making a solid movie off of a bit of literature – choose a short story or a novella

Favorite Prince album
Matt: there’s no answer to it, but Purple Rain is his most solid album

Your dream music biopic
Matt: The Smiths biopic by Michael Winterbottom
Craig: The Monks

Which modern actors or actresses do you find underrated?
Craig: Anna Faris

Tona is lurking around

Craig still remembers his lines from when he was in the play Inherit the Wind

Deleted Scenes: Pump up the Volume
“They didn’t tell the camera man where they were filming”
Pump up the Volume meets Get Out
Matt sings a snippet of Saved by the Bell theme song
Matt sees what he did there

Album Reviews:
Stretch Marks “Who & What”

The Ford Report:
Tobacco Road – featuring a man driving a car with four flat tires

Episode Recommendation:
Paint Your Wagon

Quest for a missing eBay message

Closing Credits:
Craig falls prey to subliminal Pepsi advertising

#57 Blu Ray Player

Cold Open:
Craig has a bizarre dream about seeing Star Wars:Solo as a bunch of 1950-60s pornographic cartoons

Craig continues to distract Matt while he’s reading donors’ names

Episode Recommendation:
Nanook of the North

Craig tries to have revenge on Matt and make him look like a fool through editing, but he doesn’t know how to edit

Favorite Cronenberg movie?
Matt: Eastern Promises and A History of Violence
Craig: The Fly

Matt has seen Burns and Novick’s The Vietnam War

Deleted Scenes: Valerie and Her Week of Wonders
“The Polish Porky’s”
Craig does the Albino’s “The Pit of Despair” voice
“Where is the Great Mouse Detective when I need him?”

Matt considered watching the 2006 remake of Magnificent Seven but scrapped the idea

The first movie you remembered watching? Was it at home or at the theater?
Craig: in the theater (probably) You Light up My Life

The best Marx brothers movie?
Matt: The Night at the Opera

Craig unveils the threats of the Marx brothers
The ownership of the city of Casablanca

Closing Credits:
Even more catio

#58 Vintage Vinyl

Cold Open:
Matt watched Frisco Jenny but doesn’t want to talk about it
Frisco vs San Fran

Craig thinks about the lunch he’s had and can’t get back to reality

Instead of distracting Matt, Craig tries to drown him out

What film location would you like to visit (that you have not already)?
Craig: The ancient city of Petra from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

What is the best sauce?
Matt: Thai peanut sauce
Craig: bolognese

What did Luke Skywalker make his dad watch?
Craig: The Lion King

Adaptations of the Mutiny on the Bounty you’ve seen
Matt: Mel Gibson-Anthony Hopkins and Charles Laughton-Clark Gable ones

Matt dreams about being a college professor

Episode Recommendation:
Romeo and Juliet

Deleted Scenes: The Last Unicorn
Christopher Lee sacrifices the unicorn to the Wicker Man
‘A Unicorn with No Name’ by the band America
“Say my name!”
Matt lists eye conditions
The guys perform Springsteen’s Atlantic City

Album Review:
Metallica “…And Justice for All”

The Ford Report:
How Green Was My Valley – featuring the universe in the eyes of Roddy McDowall

Craig reads out donors and Matt tries to distract him

Opinions on Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life

Craig mistakes a poem for Jefferson Starship song titles

Closing Credits:
Pesto changed Craig as a man

#59 Kinder Joy

Cold Open:
Craig does pantomime ping pong and beats Matt

Craig behaves himself while Matt reads out the donors

SLC Punk – Matt hasn’t seen it, Craig has seen parts of it

Matt has replaced real Craig with a robot

Matt tells the story of how he got the scar across his face

Craig reveals what he calls Matt behind his back

Do you ever rewatch a movie which made you feel a certain way to experience that feeling again?
Craig: Shakespeare in Love

Matt doesn’t like Mike Leigh’s Topsy Turvy

Matt objects to Craig’s use of the word ‘Muggles’

Matt makes a point to watch Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim at least once every two years around Christmas time

Episode Recommendation:
The Man with the Golden Arm

The Ford Report:
They Were Expendable – featuring good and bad acting from John Wayne

Album Review:
The Avalanches “Since I Left You”

Closing Credits:
The guys eat Kinder Joy

#60 Beatles Lunchbox

Cold Open:
Matt brings a quote from a pre-code comedy Midnight Mary:
“What’s there to be serious about? The income tax? Tonsils? The decline of the white race? Of course there’s always sex!”
Matt doesn’t get the “How about some cheese?” joke from the movie and Craig delves into cheese talk

A short Unboxing ditty

Craig reveals the destination of all the postcards, but a photo of the box in unavailable

Matt and Craig say a few words about Mud (the movie)

The favorite movie of The Thin Man series
Matt: the first one
Craig has only seen the first one

Favorite book about music
Craig: David Hajdu “Positively 4th Street”
Jeff Chang “Can’t Stop Won’t Stop”

Episode Recommendation:
Desperately Seeking Susan

Matt has “too many Melanies”

Deleted Scones: Buckaroo Banzai
Matt is kind of a John Lithgow, Craig is kind of a Jeff Goldblum
Matt becomes “Jimmy Two-Times” from the movie Goodfellas
Craig is not so enthusiastic about rolling
The guys reverse-shot jump on the couch
The guys sing a sinister version of Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid

Matt has a few things to say about Blazing Saddles

Lunchboxes from childhood

Closing Credits:
Matt makes a David Foster Wallace joke that even he doesn’t get

#61 Zen Fish Pond

Cold Open:
Craig is uncertain of the meaning of the movie Sh! The Octopus

A misleading batch of postcards makes the guys think they were sent by a viewer’s alter-ego with a fake mustache, T.A. Eggleston

Experiences of learning family history
Craig: Trying to track down his great grandfather’s NY restaurant only to find a “big ugly building with a five letter word on it that’s synonymous with the [then current] president”

Matt loved Master and Commander

Forced Cinema Immersion Tank is never a good idea

What movie you’d like to see remade and how?
Matt elaborates on Craig’s Buckaroo Banzai reboot idea

Favorite movie cars
Craig: Jaguar hearse from Harold and Maude

A viewer tries a snack proposition from the guys’ friend Jason Stevens:
Thai peanut sauce and vanilla ice cream (with black chai mixed in)

Deleted Scenes: Soylent Green
More mehs!
Craig sings I’m Straight by Jonathan Richman
Matt doesn’t want to see Charlton Heston’s ass

Matt’s cover band idea:
The Aughts – playing music from 2000-2010
Some set list ideas

Craig still goes to the movie theater

Episode Recommendation:
The Holy Mountain

The Ford Report:
My Darling Clementine – featuring Wyatt Earp’s lies and fascinating photography

Movie Scratch off Bucket List:
12 Angry Men

Craig meditates to a folding Koi Pond

#62 Movie Bucket List

Cold Open:
Jim Carrey, Andy Kaufman and smoking

Matt reveals what he said after seeing The Bridge on the River Kwai

Baby Cookie Liberation Army

If you could jump into a pool of anything what would it be?
Matt: Zero gravity
Craig: Buttons

Craig talks about Seattle and the WTO protest

Matt lists factors that may determine how many views an episode gets
Week-end defies all of them
Weird arthouse movie episodes seem to be popular with the viewers

Matt issues a retraction after he said in the previous episode that Edward James Olmos wasn’t in Blade Runner 2049
Craig issues a similar statement about Cantinflas not having appeared in Coco

Dave Matthews does a cameo

Deleted Scenes: The 300 Spartans
Craig performs a scat version of The Twentieth Century Fox theme
Stones talk like Stu in Greece
Ancient Greeks play The Settlers of Catan
Craig marches rather flamboyantly

Episode Recommendation:

Matt has scratched more movies from the Bucket List poster

Better off Dead was the first movie Craig ever reviewed

Another question about Seattle

Closing Credits:
A quip headed straight for Unboxing: Spartans fight for freedom and The Lobster

#63 Fifty Movies

Cold Open:
Craig finds American Vandal to be Dickensian

Matt still suspects poor innocent Craig of shenanigans during reading out the donors

Throbbing Gristle – Craig doesn’t like the name, but the music is solid

Favorite haunted house movies
Matt: Classic – The Old Dark House; Ultimate – House (1977)

The guys launch into a song “The Final Postcard” before Matt cuts it short

Favorite movie scores or soundtracks
Craig: Cinema Paradiso score – sound of nostalgia
Matt: Eyes Wide Shut score

The guys divulge details about their post season 2 Memphis road trip

Episode Recommendation:
The Ghost and Mr Chicken

Deleted Scenes: The Adventures of Robin Hood
Dialogue by Irving Rapper
Robin Hood meets Rocketeer
Matt appropriates a Harry Nilsson song
Matt of Basement takes part in the archery contest
Craig gets confused by Medieval brass nomenclature

Craig does his manatee

Matt likes the movie A Ghost Story quite a bit

The Ford Report:
Wagon Master – featuring a weird family of villains
A very contained epic, so far it’s Matt’s favorite along with The Whole Town’s Talking
An immortal line of dialogue:
“Me and my partner, we was kind of figuring on setting and playing a little high-low
Jick, Jack, Ginny and the Bean Gun”
Matt comes to a conclusion that Ward Bond is a good actor

Closing Credits:
Craig recites a bit from the Bugs Bunny Rabbit Hood cartoon

#64 Muppet Show Lunch Box

Cold Open:
Craig likens Kagemusha to Kevin Kline’s Dave, but with a tragic ending

Matt is still suspicious of Craig during reading out the donors

Favorite musicals and plays
Matt: Hamilton; Arthur Miller
Craig: Sondheim; Tom Stoppard

Craig praises Chekhov’s conciseness over Dickens’ verbosity (who was paid by the word)

A postcard with a carnivorous Michael Stipe lookalike

Comparing Los Angeles and New York

Pool of buttons safety concerns

Pausing or rewinding movies (never unless there is a malfunction)
Problems with recording the Omen episode

Movie Scratch off Bucket List (Matt start quizzing Craig):
Leon the Professional
Fight Club
The Big Lebowski

Deleted Scenes: Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
Sylvester Stallone calls Ghostbusters
“Get back to The West Wing, Toby!”
Craig references Girl Talk, the deejay
Matt reminisces about high school
Matt references Warrant’s Cherry Pie song
Matt sings Tiptoe through the Wreckage
Craig freezes

Episode Recommendation:
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
Craig reveals his parents’ names are Bob and Carol

Tona gets emotional over the Muppet Show lunchbox

Craig unsuccessfully tries to wring the next movie’s title out from Matt

Closing Credits:
God drives a Harley or rather rides in the sidecar

#65 Star Wars Coloring Book

Cold Open:
Craig is amazed people don’t talk more about Heartburn (with Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep) and states the best movie with those two actors is Ironweed
Discussion of Tom Waits in Ironweed
Matt names Ironweed as the most depressing American movie ever made, even more than Requiem for a Dream (Come and See is mentioned, but it’s not American)

Craig is not allowed use his funny talk

Craig is thinking about how he’s not even thinking about making any movements with his face

Matt last saw Henry Rollins act in a really funny Portlandia sketch

Putney Swope Panic! postcard from a viewer featuring the guys and characters and people featured on the show

Favorite horror films
Craig: The Thing
Matt: The Evil Dead series, What We Do in the Shadows

Matt tries his best to replicate the Barry Bostwick thumb kiss

The guys receive a telegram

Matt is freaked out by a rabbit fur coaster

Matt issues a retraction: he has seen Star Wars Episode III

Movie Scratch off Bucket List:
The Matrix
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Godfather
Apocalypse Now

The saga of likeness of King Xerxes and F Murray Abraham continues

Have you seen a movie so horrendous you considered stopping the film and scratching the episode?
The answer: “No!”

Which movie trend from a bygone era you wish would come back
Craig: The musical

Album Review:
Grant Hart “Intolerance”

Why are Baby Grant Hart and Ghostface Killah called so?
Craig hung out with Grant Hart in Minneapolis, but never asked him for his Baby moniker. He also hung out with Grant Johnson whom Grant Hart gave the title Baby to.

Episode Recommendation:
Phantom of the Paradise

The Ford Report:
The Quiet Man – featuring Barry Fitzgerald, a man with the face like a fist

“- Some Shakespeare
– Shut up you Knucklehead!”

Craig instantly colors in a Stormtrooper in a Star Wars coloring book

#66 Staying Alive

Cold Open:
Craig’s son Lorenzo thinks that a Jack Burton action figure from Big Trouble in Little China (which Craig’s scavenger neighbor found) is a ‘dad’ action figure

Matt sings Unboxing to the theme from the Simpsons

Matt sings a Postcards song

Craig misses a cat postcard, but it lands on its feet

Craig names the video stores he goes to

Craig briefly talks about Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse

What laughable Hollywood misrepresentations have you enjoyed?
Matt: Driving down the highway in a convertible
Craig: locations from the movie Halloween

Matt and Craig recently went to the American Players Theatre and saw Measure for Measure

All-time favorite TV series
Craig: Police Squad
Matt: The Wire

Would you rather watch a comedy starring Sylvester Stallone and scored by Eddie Money or one starring Eddie Money and scored by Sylvester Stallone?
Matt refuses to answer, but offers a brief parody

Episode Recommendation:
The Way of the Dragon

Movie Scratch off Bucket List:
2001: The Space Odyssey
Groundhog Day
The Notebook
Jurassic Park

The guys perform a crooner version of Ghostbusters

#67 Rob Zombie

Cold Open:
Factors affecting the perception of a movie and the personal nature of criticism

Craig mentions he has seen The Sweet Hereafter

Dark Shadows is so bad it makes Craig miss a postcard

Craig shows a photo from a recent camping trip

If you had your way what would your name be?
Matt kinda likes his
Craig would rather have his mother’s maiden name Mele and would like his name to be anything else (except Craig)

A postcard depicting Matt’s various ‘Reports’

Have any movie characters appeared in a bad dream of yours (bonus points if you were an adult)?
Craig: John Lithgow form Blow Out (at 20-21)

Is Matt a food snob? He lists all he won’t eat or drink to prove he isn’t:
Tea, Chardonnay, sun-dried tomatoes, raw mushrooms, any sort of bug

Deleted Scenes: Let the Right One In
Matt showcases his Swedish accent impersonating the regi
Matt gives an anti-drug speech (or does he?)
Craig shows off his ability to read a wine label even if it’s half obscured

Album Review:
Grant Hart single “2541”
Is Grant Hart’s nickname really “Baby” or did Craig make it up?

Craig still refuses to acknowledge the similarity between F Murray Abraham and King Xerxes

Matt tosses everything

Craig reveals how to save Popeye the musical

The Ford Report:
Mogambo – featuring a very dull Africa and a rather old Clark Gable

Craig probably has never seen an Ava Gardner movie

Craig accidentally invents actor Rutger Hauer

#68 Bigfoot Ballz

Cold Open:
Bring back the intermission
“Dear Mr Hollywood”

Fingerless gloves make better thumb kisses

Have you ever hosted a movie night at a theater with live riffing?
Matt says no

Matt forces Craig to stop thinking while he’s reading out the donors

Craig references The Hypnotoad

You favorite cinema
Matt: Sundance 608 (until it closed down) now The Oriental Theater in Milwaukee
Craig: the only one in Astoria, Oregon

Your first non-kid movie an adult took you to see in the theater
Craig: probably Absence of Malice
Matt: Jaws

Movie Scratch off Bucket List:
The Shining
Shawn of the Dead
Forrest Gump

Deleted Scenes: The Tingler
“Some people are pantywaists”
Evil advice for farmers

Pottersville is a talent bomb

Pink Floyd vs Roger Waters album covers

Episode Recommendation
Pet Sematary (which Craig considers “a bwast”)

How to pronounce Bruce Cockburn?

Sour candy causes vibrating teeth and conflicting emotions

#69 Zatoichi T Shirt

Cold Open:
the ever-young Tom Cruise and Hollywood surgeries
“Wither Renée Zellweger” should be a t-shirt or at least a tote bag

Favorite political films
Matt: Face in the Crowd
Craig: Costas Gavras’ Z and Missing.

Craig recounts watching a preview for The Perfect Storm at the Seattle Cinerama

Which one of you is a badder mofo?

Reviewing movies as they’re released

Deleted Scenes: The Caine Mutiny
“Edward Dmytryk who could not afford any vowels to his name when he was a child”
More from boisterous conductor ‘Mustache’
Matt references Warren Zevon’s Mutineer
The guys perform a brief song “Please Please May”

Episode Recommendation:
Season 1 Supercut

Darby O’Gill and the Little People

The Ford Report:
The Horse Soldiers – featuring John Wayne throwing a man on a horse out of a bar

A viewer sends three movies, one good, one bad, an underrated one and a strange but fun movie. It’s up to Matt and Craig to decide which is which:
Stanley Will Make Your Skin Crawl
The Greasy Strangler

A Zatoichi bumper sticker and T Shirt

Zatoichi endorsement for the show doesn’t work

#70 Sheep Book

Cold Open:
Craig’s dad won a raccoon coat
Are raccoons vicious?

Craig is not Matt’s teacher but he’s out for him anyway

Craig is a fan of Nantucket Bookworks

Making money off the arts

Jim Jarmush films

If you were haunted by any famous dead person in a wacky comedy sense who would it be?
Craig: John Houston or Cary Grant
Matt: Groucho Marx

Episode Recommendation:
The Mummy

Matt would consider doing a live show

Rocky Horror Picture Show and pure silliness

Movie Scratch off Bucket List (Craig messes up the rules):
American Psycho
American History X
This Is Spinal Tap
(Movie with boxing gloves)

Album Review:
Sleater-Kinney “All Hands on the Bad One” (Craig examines the cover)

Craig suggests the Amazon logo looks like a penis

A year book for sheep makes Craig burst out laughing

#71 Bats!

Cold Open:
Craig envisions an intense moment in a possible new Mario movie

Craig applied for a job on a Victoria Clipper back in Seattle but didn’t get it

The guys quote Nick Cave

If you were haunted by any famous dead person in a wacky come sense who would it be?
Matt has a better answer: Mr Chicken himself, Don Knotts

Craig reanswers an old question – what scene would you like to change in a movie you love?
Shaun of the Dead

Deleted Scenes: The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland
Kermit is a difficult director, he’s the Lars von Trier of Muppets
The guys simultaneously improvise a “zip” joke
Matt sings a rendition of Making Whoopee
Mandy Patinkin’s Eyebrows
Bert and Ernie as Greek Chorus

Episode Recommendation:
Miracle on 24th Street

The Ford Report:
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – featuring Jimmy Stewart slamming a steak
The last movie, but not the last report

“Many magazines were killed when packing this box”

#72 Inflatable Pool

“The wife” is not a term appreciated by women. Craig uses it too readily sometimes.

Are favorite films those we first see at age 13?
The guys don’t seem to agree

Rock’n’Roll High School

The guys try to help identify a movie:
The son of a scientist teleports into another dimension to bring his father back

Craig doesn’t remember if Streets of Fire was good or bad

Worst movie casting choice
Matt: Michael Shannon in Pottersville
Craig: Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Craig is thinking of getting a vish tank for his son

Does Tona get to watch the movies on the show?
Yes, but does Tona choose to watch the movie?

Episode Recommendation:
The Omen

The connection between Battleship Potemkin’s Channing Tatum lookalike and Hail, Caesar!

Craig adjusts Asia’s Sole Survivor for the Lone Survivor movie

The Ford Report: a very brief summary

Is Michael Bay an auteur director?

An inflatable pool gets Craig’s pool full of buttons fantasy closer to realization


Unboxing Season 4 (Concurrent with Welcome to the Basement Season 8)

#73 Land of the Lost

Cold Open:
The Pizza Palace, in Evansville Wisconsin – the smallest pizza restaurant in the world?
Craig never ate there

Matt runs out of breath while reading out donors

Things to do in Wisconsin and Madison?

A ragtime rendition of the theme sent by a fan, illustrated with cat pictures

Matt plugs the LIVE Food Poisoning With Aaron and Matt stream

Movie meal or food you wish you could enjoy
Matt: Any food from The Big Night
Craig: The first or the last Ramen from Tampopo

Craig reveals what prompted his interest in architecture:
Being a guide in Taliesin, a Frank Lloyd Wright house in Spring Green, Wisconsin

Christmas in February

Deleted Scenes: Darkman
Funded by the Medicis
Matt sings: “He’s got burns that jingle jangle jingle”
“Poop water”
Darkman quotes Blue Velvet and confesses his love for Sondheim

Matt takes his turntable into the shop to be fixed

Album Review:
Roger Waters “Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking”
Bruce Cockburn “Christmas”

“Roger Waters solo sounds like Pink Floyd without all the other guys”
“Apparently in Canada they have silent ck’s. In the US we have a CK that’s very not silent”

Craig obscurely references Paul Rudd playing Mac and Me footage on the Conan O’Brien show

Craig receives a book he’s been meaning not only to read, but to write (P is for Pterodactyl)

Craig is sulking over Matt getting mail

Tona reads a letter

Tona throws some postcards, one of which nearly takes Craig’s eye out

Closing Credits:
A lot of China talk

#74 Tobacco Card

Cold Open:
The neighbors are doing laundry

Matt reads out the donors in one go

Why Sorry to Bother You didn’t get Oscar nominations

Favorite Spiderman so far
Matt can’t keep track of ‘em
Craig: Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield

The viewer who had stumped the guys with a forgotten movie title found it themselves: Prisoners of the Lost Universe

A movie with John Saxon in it can’t all be bad, but can’t be good either

Is it wrong to enjoy My Son My Son What Have Ye Done?

How to tell Cecil and Sadie apart

Deleted Scenes: Indecent Proposal
Is it pronounced “Dummy Moore”?
What noise does Oliver Splat make?
“Draw me like you draw your French houses”
Indecent Proposal meets Forrest Gump
Moore and Harrelson visit the Argument Clinic
“Human sufferin’, I love it!”

Stargate was the movie Craig almost chose when he had to choose a sci-fi that starts with an “S”

Craig gets sarcastic about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The guys quote the Log Commercial from The Ren & Stimpy Show

Movie Bucketlist poster:
No Country for Old Men
The Departed

Matt has seen Cleopatra, Craig knows better

Closing Credits:
Robert Redford is a huge Everett Sloane fan

#75 Billy Jack Soundtrack

Cold Open:
The craft of Roger Deakins
Matt’s color correction is beautiful, says Craig

Fan research: a photo of the tiniest Pizza Palace

Should a film stand alone or is it important to see it in context?

How often do you watch foreign films?

Deleted Scenes: Fellini Satyricon
Matt calls it – the movie is weird
Matt has a statue of Craig in his mausoleum
Craig has had an awkward galley experience

Episode Recommendation:
Three Cases of Murder

Craig rants about Shyamalan’s The Lady in the Water

The mystery of the missing picture

Closing Credits:
The dog watches Craig shoveling up after it

#76 Troma DVD

Cold Open:
Toboggans and Bob Dylan

Matt gets the website address wrong

Craig attempts shenanigans while Matt reads out the donors, but Matt gets wise to it

Craig on his final years of “earsdense”

What kind of future do we have in store?
Matt hopes for tolerance and sanity
Craig dreams of Nehru jackets

What movie inspired you to become a movie critic?
Craig: Bad movie reviews in the Student Newspaper, particularly La Strada
Matt doesn’t considers himself a film critic

Matt elaborates on deleted scenes
Craig alludes to walnut incidents

Deleted Scenes: Jungle Book
A lion is making a big deal about having a son
Shere Khan quotes Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain
Ben Kingsley tells a Propa-Ghandi

Movie Bucketlist poster – The Final Row:
The Usual Suspects
Spirited Away
Gangs of New York
The Truman Show

Craig knocks The Truman Show for knocking off The Twilight Zone

Episode Recommendation:
Mazes and Monster

Album Review:
Klaatu “3:47 EST”

Craig makes a pun about Four Stroke Baron and a fertility clinic

Closing Credits:
A deleted scene deleted due to deleted scenes

#77 Nixon Flexi Disc

Cold Open:
Craig reminisces about the shelf he had while working at a Blockbuster
Passing on poor movie taste to the next generation

Matt shouts at postcards

Craig sings Cryin’ by Aerosmith

Craig sings Baby Beluga

Is Altman’s Nashville too American?
Craig describes what best Altman movies do to him

Craig catches a postcard with his left hand

What’s the deal with airline food?

Best decade of movies
Craig: 1980s

Worst decade of movies
Craig: 1950s

Episode Recommendation:
Yellow Submarine

Album Review:
Repo Man Soundtrack
Billy Jack Soundtrack

Matt tells his story about Repo Man
Matt tells a story about the entire camp singing One Tin Soldier

The guys riff on political memorabilia

“And now – vote for Nixon!”

Closing Credits:
Craig would like Spike Lee to tell him it’s okay to watch Birth of a Nation

#78 Cat Attack

Cold Open:
Craig tries and fails to sing Springsteen’s Thunder Road at karaoke
He vows to stick to his When I’m Sixty Fours and Stray Cat Struts

“Roar changed your lives and the lives of the unfortunate people who appeared in it”

Craig relays the story of Mel Brooks handling studio officials on Blazing Saddles

Why Welcome to the Basement doesn’t include a rating system for the movies

Is Star Wars pro-extremist and why is the Empire bad?

Craig doesn’t like peanut butter which Matt deems madness
On a related note, Matt quotes One Step Beyond by Madness

Deleted Scenes: Airport 77
With James Stewart and Jack Lemmon “the stuttering and stammering is gonna be off the charts”
Jack Lemmon still has the Glengarry leads
“You’ve been Ponged!”
Christopher Lee still makes sacrifices to the Wicker Man

Craig uses “the traditional injury method” as he cuts towards himself

Craig confesses that doing the show has improved his life

Tona reveals what cameras she uses

Matt maintains that they are proud of their dead pixel

Episode Recommendation:
The Ninth Configuration

Album Review:
Hepcat “Right on Time”
The Specials “The Specials”

“Wake your mother! Tell her to listen to The Specials!”

Closing Credits:
Craig is attacked by a cat

#79 Monster Baby

Cold Open:
Craig tells a story of George Washington becoming Donkey Kong during the Siege of Boston

A song: Unboxing Time Already

Favorite film of Agnes Varda
Craig: Cleo from 5 to 7

The Holy Mountain gains views

Episode Recommendation:
The Magician (The Face)

Discussion of Troma
Matt has seen The Toxic Avenger

The remake of Psycho

F Murray Abraham lookalikes

A signed photo of The Pet Semetary child actor

Craig calls Matt a fool over getting his abstract painters mixed up

“Am I a [postcard] collector or a mere hoarder? That’s for my wife to decide.”

Craig tries to engage in shenanigans again while Matt reads out the donors

Album Review:
Theme: British Punk Rock
The Damned “Damned Damned Damned”
The Rezillos “Can’t Stand the Rezillos”

Matt turns down the music when the bass shakes the house

Matt saw Be Kind Rewind in the theater

#80 Black Hole

Cold Open:
Amenities of old hotels (as seen in Public Enemies)

Craig names Show Me Love as having one of the most authentic first kisses in a movie

Craig makes a postcard disappear

What do you want do see turned live action on the big screen?
Matt: nothing really
Craig: The video game Missile Command

The guys sing Tom Waits’s Singapore
The practical aspect of throwing dice along the wharf

Which Star Trek movies have you seen?
Craig: original Star Trek movies, Star Trek: First Contact, the first reboot movie
Matt: original Star Trek movies, the first reboot movie

Historical figures you’d like to see a film made about
Matt: “Fighting Bob” La Follette, Emperor Norton
Craig: Agent Zigzag (Eddie Chapman)

Best experience in a movie theater
Kenneth Branagh’s Much Ado about Nothing at the Majestic Movie House in Madison (which made Craig jump and balance on a ledge)

Deleted Scenes: 42nd Street
The sequel is not as good
The guys shout “Pretty lady” a’la Jerry Lewis
1930s sick burn
Raw sexuality of an Eddie Cantor

The guys have seen Big Deal on Madonna Street

Episode Recommendation:
Desperately Seeking Susan

Album Review:
Theme: They Might Be Giants
“Apollo 18”
“Factory Showroom”

Closing Credits:
Restaurant déjà vu (courtesy of Michael Corleone)
Backwards Memento Disease

#81 Japanese Weirdness

Cold Open:
Craig’s son Lorenzo has seen Voyage to the Moon along with WttB episode of it (when he wants to watch the show he says that he wants to see Matt)
“What the crab?”

Thoughts on Disney purchasing Fox and on monopolies

Matt hasn’t really watched Daria or Beavis and Butt-Head
Craig sings Daria to the tune of Gloria

A throwback to the Blackula episode with a fan postcard

Craig references Mitchell starring Joe Don Baker

What defines a made for TV movie?

The guys reminisce some famous TV movies:
The Day After
The Burning Bed

What was your first car?
Craig: Mazda Protege, 1992

Matt calls Charles Martin Smith by the name Chester A. Arthur

Matt is fascinated by mummies and discoveries from the deep ocean

Craig puts A Hard Day’s Night over Help! and The Monkees’ Head

Deleted Scenes: The Apple
“Beauty school dropout”
The Apple meets The Blues Brothers
Matt feels a little victimized
Craig would rather be watching Casino Royale, even the bad version
Matt does a Jonathan Banks impression

Episode Recommendation:
My Neighbor Totoro

Album Review:
Record Store 2019
Bob Dylan “Blood on the Tracks” test pressing
Pink Floyd “A Saucerful of Secrets” mono pressing
“The Best of Townes Van Zandt”
Sun Records Compilation vol 6
Pavement “Slanted and Enchanted”
Albert King “Born Under a Bad Sign” mono pressing which turned out to have inside an LP of REM Greatest Hits
The Ramones “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg” single

“Fragile! Must be Italian!”

Closing Credits:
“I wish my ears were deaf”

#82 Nick at Nite Trivia

Cold Open:
They Might Be Giants’ Fingertips – a song suite or a personality test?

Unboxing is briefly taken over by an old man

Matt has considered watching a previously seen movie on the Old Leather Couch, but that would have to be a perfect one, which he hasn’t found yet

Who came first – King Kong Bundy or King Kong Brodie?

Matt successfully catches postcards

Movies you wish you’d seen on a big screen
Craig: The Doors (which he still hasn’t seen)

What talking animal would you like to be?
Matt: some sort of a taloned raptor, an eagle or a falcon, even an osprey, but not a hawk
Craig: a barn swallow, although he wouldn’t have much to say

Selected Scenes: The Phantom Tollbooth
The guys quote Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues
Matt dreams up a Leon Redbone version of one of the songs
“I never knew movies could be so confusing”
Matt wishes The Humbug would sacrifice his life

Episode Recommendation:
The 300 Spartans

Favorite ride based on a movie
Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disneyworld

Album Review
Theme: Punk Rock
Angry Samoans “Back from Samoa”
The Monks “Bad Habits”

“In movies when something is sent from a friend, it’s generally a warning”

Closing Credits:
Matt suspects that Milo has had aneurysm and the whole adventure is in his head. Craig likens it to St. Elsewhere.

#83 Spawn

Cold Open:
Smashing Pumpkins – with or without “The”?

Droopy Dog hosts Unboxing

Craig’s college friend used to perform a perverted Droopy impression

Best vacation:
Matt: Rhinelander Wisconsin visited as a kid, Mickey’s Sunset Bay on the shores of Boom Lake
Craig: Boundary Waters visited as a boy scout

Are there any movies from the Movie Bucketlist you disagree with?
Craig: American History X

Deleted Scenes: Empereor’s New Groove
Matt references King Ralph
Matt quotes Monty Python and the Holy Grail: “It’s only a Model”
Craig slips in a “yama”
The guys improve the Sting’s credits song

Episode Recommendation:
Slap Shot

Favorite movies set at sea:
Matt: Master and Commander
Craig: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea with James Mason

The guys argue about who should impersonate who

Album Review:
Theme: Canada
Klaatuu “Sir Army Suit”
Garolou “Garolou”

Closing Credits:
Matt is not sure he’s ever seen a John Waters film

#84 Beat Happening

Cold Open:
Matt has been working his way through his Creedence Clearwater Revival vinyl catalog
Suzie Q is like Ravel’s Borelo or The Buzzcoks’s Why Can’t I Touch It (which Matt doesn’t like)

Craig recommends a film book – The Mirage Factory by Gary Krist

Episode Recommendation:
The Horror of Dracula

Most significant change for the better as a result of this show
Matt: personal growth, deeper understanding of cinema, better friendship and of course the movies
Craig: writing about movies for a local paper, also something his mom can be proud of

Matt finds similarities between Craig and James Cagney in White Heat

Movie you have seen the most
Craig: Summer School
Matt: Stripes

Craig mixes up Stripes and Mr. Sardonicus

The Campbell-McDonald feud in television

7 Faces of Dr. Lao – Matt has seen it, Craig hasn’t

Matt doesn’t catch any postcards. Craig pulls a Tona.

Have they appeared on the show?

Album Review:
Theme: Comedy
Don Costa’s Free Loaders “Music to Break a Sub-Lease”
Allan Sherman “My Son the Folk Singer”

Craig catches a postcard Jerry Lewis-style

Closing Credits:
The whimsical side of Radiohead

#85 World’s Best Beardless Men

Cold Open:
Craig wants to be called Mr. Johnson by salespeople

The guys haven’t seen The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

How do you explain a western to someone from outside America?

Favorite voice actors
Matt: Keith David, Peter Coyote
Craig: H. Jon Benjamin

Matt impersonates H. Jon Benjamin reading a phone book

Matt reveals the dedication Paul F. Tompkins wrote him: “I appreciate your candor”

Episode Recommendation:
Logan’s Run

Album Review:
Theme: Electronic Music
NF “Perception”
Daft Punk “Discovery”

Matt’s mind is boggled by how a viewer knew he likes Flamin’ Groovies’ “Shake Some Action”

Craig reveals the original title for an LL Cool J album was “My mother called me and she asked me to knock you out”

Closing Credits:
Matt fails to find “Big Old Butt

#86 Shock Treatment

Cold Open:
Matt sings Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Down on the Corner with the lyrics from Run Through the Jungle

Favorite Bogey movie, favorite Bogey and Bacall movie
Matt: Casablanca aside, Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Key Largo
Craig: The Maltese Falcon; To Have and Have Not

What novel/play/short story etc. would you like to see as a movie?
Matt: Art by Yasmina Reza
Craig: The Mandrake by Macchiaveli

What did you study in college?
Craig: Theater
Matt: English with a creative writing emphasis and a theater minor

“That’s not history, that’s my youth”

Episode Recommendation:
The Wild One

Album Review:
The Clash “Rat Patrol from Fort Bragg”
“Welcome to the Basement: A Spicy Mixture from Black and Latin America”

Tona and one of the cats briefly interrupt the show

Matt quotes Rich Hall’s Once in a Lifetime spoof from the old days of SNL

Thoughts on High Fidelity

“If you are being compared to a lead character in a Nick Hornsby novel, change your life”

Closing Credits:
Matt would like to see an adaptation of Stephen King’s “On Writing”

#87 Great White North

Cold Open:
Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 – a weak point on an otherwise perfect album

Fritz Lang’s M – Seen It

Craig likens an uncaught postcard with a failed relationship

Scarlett Johansson being cast as a trans man in Rub & Tug

Country music in movies versus actual country music

Fan art: Dog of Death webcomic

1955 War of the Worlds sound design

Quick answers:
Favorite foreign film country
Favorite menu item at Ella’s Deli
Gadget dude

Deleted Scenes: Treasure Island
Couch dancing
Little Rascals School of Acting and Diction
Mr. Blonde makes an unexpected trip to Treasure Island
Craig makes a Jackie Cooper face
“Don’t hoit the boid”
Who’s in the background: Rasputin, Steve Buscemi or Jeremy Irons?
Matt references the Monkees
“Stupor! Stupor! Stupor!”

Episode Recommendation:
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice

Album Review:
Theme: Bad Band Names (The Flying Burrito Brothers Syndrome)
Blake Babies “Sunburn”
Four Stroke Baron “Planet Silver Screen”

Craig is upset by an album he’s never listened to

Craig blames why he never got into rap music on song intros

The guys are confused by Lee Hazelwood album artwork

The guys decipher a Nantucket limerick

Craig used to keep in touch with the Nantucket Book Works store via postcards

Closing Credits:
Billy Bones is telling a joke (possibly)

#88 Megaforce T-Shirt

Cold Open:
DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Matt explains the mail delay

A silent film that would benefit from having sound
Matt: Dr. Mabuse

Craig accuses Dr. Mabuse of not returning the tape to the video store

The guys are not ready for a Gene Wilder deep dive

Favorite movie about California
Matt: right now, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Craig: Chinatown

Matt retells a trip to Indianapolis and an encounter with a viewer in a record shop

A movie considered a classic that you just plain don’t like
Craig: French film, Pickpocket

Matt’s beef with The Greasy Strangler. Craig claims it’s the Human Centipede effect.

Deleted Scenes: How to Get Ahead in Advertising
Richard E. Grant and his oversized clothes
Matt hurls a British insult
The composer scores the room

Matt’s issues a black licorice toothpaste correction. Tona gives a black licorice toothpaste review.

Matt reads a cut-in-half message


Album Review
Theme: Rock!
The Sonics “Boom”
Mastodon “Blood Mountain”
Jawbreaker “Unfun”
Ghost “Prequelle”
Rob Zombie “Hellbilly Deluxe”

Episode Recommendation:
Miami Connection

Closing Credits:
Craig boasts about the boil lancing abilities he learned in the Boy Scouts

#89 The Old Dark House

Cold Open:
Popeye embarrassed Craig in school
Cartoon spelling

The guys don’t know Red Letter Media, although Craig claims to have known Red Letter News in Madison

Craig reluctantly admits that from between Jay and Silent Bob, he’s Jay

Best movies about work
Matt: Office Space
Craig: The Apartment

A movie moment that reminds you of a real life occurrence?
Too tough a question to answer off the cuff

Thoughts on First Man

The guys quote an Abbot and Costello routine “Slowly I turn”

Have you ever traveled outside of North America?
The guys both have

Craig’s thoughts on Chilean culture

A viewer explains King Kong/Bruiser Brody confusion

Deleted Scenes: Suddenly Last Summer
“Dip me in gravy and call me Mr. Tibbs”
“Tadpole pads”
“It’s hard to make a difference with this Transatlantic accent”
Craig’s been doing love wrong
From Suddenly Last Summer to Sister Act

An envelope addressed to Matt Sloan, English major

“Who names their son Treat? Halloween fans, I guess.”

Album Review:
Theme: 80s music
Rick Springfield “Working Class Dog”
The Cars “Panorama”
“Staying Alive” Soundtrack
Oingo Boingo “Dead Man’s Party”
Robert Plant “The Principle of Moments”

Craig relates a story of a guy who stole his girlfriend and an awkward string of love songs on the radio

Craig tries to open a box upside down

Episode Recommendation:
Panic in Year Zero!

Closing Credits:
Matt makes a Katharine Hepburn face to the oblivious Craig

#90 Hologram

Cold Open:
Talking about Catch 22

What episodes or themes from Twilight Zone (original or 1980s) appeal to you?
Craig: The Howling Man – one with the devil in a cell

(Not) watching movies on the phone

How much can you forgive a director when the acting is “shit”?
Thoughts on Ryan O’Neil in Barry Lyndon and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut

Favorite music video:
Craig: Groove Is in the Heart by Deee-Lite (best music video ever)
Matt: Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars with clips from old musicals synced-up

Album Review:
Theme: Mystery
Labi Siffre “Remember My Song”
Larry and His Flask “All That We Know”
Atom And His Package “A Society Of People Named Elihu”
Marshmallow Ghosts and the Spooky Sideshow “The Scariest Things You’ve Ever Heard”

Episode Recommendation:
The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland

#91 Vampires

Cold Open:
What We Do in the Shadows – the TV show
Matt Berry and his voice

Craig has seen Lady Snowblood

A movie that nails where you live or fails completely
Matt: Away We Go

Most beautiful location you’ve seen in a film
Matt can’t think of anything he hasn’t mentioned before, but he’s got beautiful screen savers on his Apple TV
Craig says the Himalayas in Black Narcissus, but they were painted

How long do you plan to do the show? Are you saving money for retirement?

Dog talk from Craig, cat talk from Matt

Craig’s mom used to breed gerbils, which Matt likens to the dalmatian mice in The Royal Tenenbaums

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie
The mummy doesn’t understand English
Matt briefly kills Tommy Chong
Laser sight rifles are perfect for killing cats

Album Review:
Lee Hazelwood “Requiem for an Almost Lady”
Kid Congo And The Pink Monkey Birds “Gorilla Rose”
Jefferson Starship “Red Octopus”
The Exploding Hearts “Guitar Romantic”
The Exploding Hearts “Shattered”

Episode Recommendation:

Closing Credits:
Steve Buscemi would have been good in a Don Knotts biopic

#92 Lego Batman

Cold Open:
The scary thing in Matt’s closet
You cannot trust recording devices

Lorenzo finds Huxley from The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland scary

Pop Liturgy – an old southern preacher or a really hip catholic father

Thoughts on festivals and food carts

Favorite political movies:
Matt: Election
Craig: The Great McGinty

What latest streaming platforms offers you enjoy?
Matt: Main HBO shows The Deuce, Succession, etc; Fosse/Verdon; The Great British Baking Show

Most memorable live concert experience:
Craig: Pixies on their reunion tour
Matt: The Zombies on their final tour

What TV shows based on movies are as good as the movie they were based on:
Matt: The Odd Couple, Fargo

Deleted Scenes: Night of the Creeps
The guys are surprised by the Tri Star Pegasus
An R2D2 capsule fail
Matt talks slowly
“I’m sorry, we’re bozo cops”
A surprise innuendo

Album Review:
Theme: Oddities
Shel Silverstein “Songs and Stories”
“Poems and Songs of Middle Earth”
Noel Coward “Cowardy Custard”

Hitchcock agrees with Matt’s statement about Rainy Day Women #12 & 32

Have they appeared on the show?

Episode Recommendation:

Closing Credits:
Solid pun

#93 Pizza Fiction

Cold Open:
It annoys Matt when the signature songs of his favorite musicians are those he likes the least
Devo’s Satisfaction cover

Experiencing fear of missing out

Craig isn’t doing the Niagara Falls this time. Or is he?

Favorite superhero adaptation
Craig: Into the Spiderverse

Neil Breen might be the worst film maker of all time

Matt shares his Martin H. Greenberg story

Craig recommends SLC Punk!

Matt explains the concept of ‘The Lewton bus’ and is interrupted by Sadie

Craig intones a Cat People song

Who would you cast in your dream movie
Craig: Tales from the Darkside cast in a completely different movie

Deleted Scenes: Dragon Heart
“Julie Christie is rocking that wimple!”
“She’s acting to a post-it note on a stick”
Craig pats Matt
Matt performs Nilsson’s ‘Without You’

Album Review:
Theme: Soundtracks
Fritz the Cat
Rubber Neck

“It smells like the Kennedy era”

Matt rags on the recently departed Eddie Money

Governor Dukakis climbs Craig’s face

Episode Recommendation:
Pumping Iron

Closing Credits:
“When your last name is Feitshans, you want to name your child Buzz four times”

#94 Giant Ape

Cold Open:
Craig has shown King Kong to Lorenzo
A discussion of unsoulful special effects

Matt has seen The Edge

“The comedy world traded Tom Hanks for Alec Baldwin”

Thoughts on camping

The most beautiful location you’ve seen in a film?
Craig: Heaven’s Gate

Album Review:
Theme: Soundtracks
How The West Was Won
The Hidden

The unknown connection between composer Alfred Newman and MAD’s Alfred E. Neuman

Deleted Scenes: Beach Party
Beach Party begins where Dunkirk ended
Matt sings a surf song about pulmonary embolism
“You look like a comically exaggerated midlife crisis”
Craig quotes The Doors

Craig didn’t pay attention in Torch School

U-571 has Craig’s favorite thing to hear in a submarine movie

Who would play what role in a Muppet remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Episode Recommendation:

Closing Credits:
Matt loves the cool and nerdy beach car

#95 The Worst Corkscrew

Cold Open:
Craig had to choose between seeing The Joker and Parasite
Sneaking from movie to movie

Man from the post office shouts “2702 in the house!” upon seeing Matt

Matt has only seen the first episode of Chernobyl

The guys haven’t seen many Indian/Bollywood movies

Craig talks architecture: Seattle Library by Rem Koolhaas

Why movies became your thing?
Craig: getting cable, VCR and a thick video review guide book

The guys describe how they usually listen to records

Deleted Scenes: A Christmas Carol
Matt confuses Ebenezer Scrooge with Scrooge McDuck
Craig pokes fun at Edward Woodward’s nameward
“Rockin’ that euphonium!”
Matt quotes Fancy by Iggy Azalea
Craig makes a fan pun
Dorothy Pudding, the inventor of pudding

Album Review:
Theme: Comedy
Gerard W. Purcell Associates “LBJ in the Catskills”
John Cleese, Bill Oddie et al. “I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again”
Mike Nichols, Elaine May “Improvisations to Music”

Craig reads a few definitions from The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary

Episode Recommendation:
Miracle on 34th Street

Closing Credits:
Matt provides the value of three shillings and sixpence

#96 Movie Freak

Cold Open:
Craig reads a Mad Lib

Craig enthuses about O-o-h Child by The Five Stairsteps

Is Beach Party a musical?
Matt says no, Craig disagrees

Favorite toys as kids
Matt: Star Wars toys
Craig: The Star Wars board game

Matt threw a now-priceless toy in the roof gutter

Album Review:
Wayne Shorter “Moto Grosso Feio”
The 101ers “Elgin Avenue Breakdown”
Flamin’ Groovies “Shake Some Action”

The guys perform an Asperger version of the Beatles’ You’re Going to Lose That Girl

Verb/noun band name list

Libby from A Star Is Born makes an appearance

Craig has trouble pronouncing the name Graham

Episode Recommendation:
The Great Train Robbery/The Red Balloon (The first Megasode)